Her words were resonating, and they’d only touched minute two of a forty-five-minute session. Damn. Deven released a sigh and sat back in the cushions, allowing the hurt to breathe. “I guess I’ve never tried to do that,” she said, lowering her eyes to the floor. “I try to block it out or get rid of it. Not carry it. Like, with my dad. I knew it was coming, but you’re never really prepared for death. So, when it happened, I just poured everything into trying to see about my mom so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. Now with my babies, I don’t know how to cope with this.”

“Because you never had to do it with your dad,” Felicia finished with an understanding nod.

Deven sighed at the epiphany. Was that why she was spiraling downward? “Maybe.”

“Your dad must have been a very special man.”

A wistful smile touched Deven’s lips. She looked towards the window and almost like a mirage, she saw a reflection of her hero; full and animated with his pre-cancerous charisma. “He was,” she said. “I mean, he wasn’t perfect, of course. But he was perfect to me. He loved me and my mom very much. And my sister. All he wanted was his family. And it hurt him more than anything when he realized he was going to have to leave us.”

“I’m sure,” Felicia paused to jot something down on her clipboard. “And your mom. How has she been dealing with all of this?”

“Thankfully, she doesn’t have to.” Deven’s retort was laced with a hint of resentment, and she winced at her insensitivity. “My mom has dementia,” she explained. “So, a lot of times, she doesn’t even remember my dad.” She thought it best to leave out how Iris never seemed to forget Kennedy’s dad though. “I guess part of me feels that’s a good thing sometimes, not having to remember the pain.”

“If you don’t remember the pain, then you don’t remember him,” Felicia countered. “It’s not better to live in the unknown. That would mean forgetting about the person entirely, which is even more excruciating. Because there is someone who had an effect on your life, and you can’t even remember them or how much they loved you. Would you want to forget your dad and the wonderful man he is if you could do that?”

She was right, and Deven surely didn’t want to do that. “No. I guess, I just thought that my mom is able to live better.”