Chapters (250)
- Dedication
- A NOTE TO READERS
- WELCOME TO EDEN MIXTAPE
- PROLOGUE
- 1. The Summer Before Seventeen
- THE SUMMER BEFORE SEVENTEEN
- NORA
- 2. Don’t Forget The Curly Fries
- DON’T FORGET THE CURLY FRIES
- NORA
- PRESENT DAY
- 3. Busted
- BUSTED
- NATE
- 4. You’re Only Sixteen Once
- YOU’RE ONLY SIXTEEN ONCE
- NORA
- 5. Specks With Colossal Problems
- SPECKS WITH COLOSSAL PROBLEMS
- NATE
- 6. Vodka, Lime And Old Flames
- VODKA, LIME AND OLD FLAMES
- NORA
- 7. Connor James
- CONNOR JAMES
- NATE
- 8. Breathe In, Breathe Out
- BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT
- NORA
- 9. Last Summer
- LAST SUMMER
- NORA
- 10. Never Drinking Again
- NEVER DRINKING AGAIN
- NORA
- PRESENT DAY
- 11. You Should See The Other Guy
- YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY
- NATE
- 12. Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones
- STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES
- NATE
- 13. Bitches And Bonfires
- BITCHES AND BONFIRES
- NORA
- PRESENT DAY
- 14. Late Night Swims
- LATE NIGHT SWIMS
- NATE
- 15. The Beginning Of The Downfall
- THE BEGINNING OF THE DOWNFALL
- NATE
- 16. Lost Stories, Found Words
- LOST STORIES, FOUND WORDS
- NORA
- 17. Lads Day Out
- LADS DAY OUT
- NATE
- 18. Carnivals And Confrontations
- CARNIVALS AND CONFRONTATIONS
- NORA
- 19. Cotton Candy And Daisy Bracelets
- COTTON CANDY AND DAISY BRACELETS
- NATE
- 20. I Got You
- I GOT YOU
- NORA
- 21. Seeing Ghosts
- SEEING GHOSTS
- NORA
- PRESENT DAY
- 22. Pieces Of A Puzzle
- PIECES OF A PUZZLE
- NORA
- 23. The Thing About Odds
- THE THING ABOUT ODDS
- NATE
- 24. Sunrises And Cinnabons
- SUNRISES AND CINNABONS
- NORA
- 25. A Part Of Me Died
- A PART OF ME DIED
- NORA
- 26. What's His Name?
- WHAT'S HIS NAME?
- NORA
- PRESENT DAY
- 27. Late Night Drives
- LATE NIGHT DRIVES
- NATE
- 28. You’re Naked
- YOU’RE NAKED
- NORA
- 29. The Quiet Destruction
- THE QUIET DESTRUCTION
- NATE
- 30. Wanna Fly?
- WANNA FLY?
- NATE
- 31. Frosted Flakes At 2Am
- FROSTED FLAKES AT 2AM
- NORA
- PRESENT DAY
- 32. You're Safe With Me
- YOU'RE SAFE WITH ME
- NORA
- 33. Happy Birthday Jake
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE
- NATE
- PRESENT DAY
- 34. Expect The Unexpected
- EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
- NORA
- 35. Ripples Of The Past
- RIPPLES OF THE PAST
- NATE
- 36. Drowning In Truth
- DROWNING IN TRUTH
- NORA
- 37. Reckonings
- RECKONINGS
- NATE
- 38. Just Like Old Times
- JUST LIKE OLD TIMES
- NORA
- 39. Parallel Lines
- PARALLEL LINES
- NATE
- 40. Front Row Seats To The Shit Show
- FRONT ROW SEATS TO THE SHIT SHOW
- NORA
- 41. Nora's Mixtape #17
- NORA'S MIXTAPE #17
- NATE
- 42. Sorry On Repeat
- SORRY ON REPEAT
- NATE
- 43. Seventeen
- SEVENTEEN
- NORA
- 44. The Rent Is Free In My Head
- THE RENT IS FREE IN MY HEAD
- NATE
- 45. The Geometry Of Almost
- THE GEOMETRY OF ALMOST
- NORA
- 46. Fresh Paint Over Old Cracks
- FRESH PAINT OVER OLD CRACKS
- NATE
- 47. Found Family
- FOUND FAMILY
- NORA
- 48. Deaf Or Blind?
- DEAF OR BLIND?
- NATE
- 49. Sixty Seconds
- SIXTY SECONDS
- NORA
- 50. Where Shadows Meet
- WHERE SHADOWS MEET
- NATE
- 51. The Alchemy Of Letting Go
- THE ALCHEMY OF LETTING GO
- NORA
- 52. Father Figure
- FATHER FIGURE
- NATE
- 53. A Very Unhappy Fourth Of July
- A VERY UNHAPPY FOURTH OF JULY
- NATE
- PRESENT DAY
- 54. Like A Bull In A China Shop
- LIKE A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP
- NORA
- 55. The Responsible Adult
- THE RESPONSIBLE ADULT
- NATE
- 56. The Call
- THE CALL
- NORA
- 57. Magnata
- MAGNATA
- NATE
- 58. The Aftermath
- THE AFTERMATH
- NORA
- 59. He Won't Hurt You Anymore
- HE WON'T HURT YOU ANYMORE
- NATE
- 60. I Know What You Did Last Summer
- I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER
- NORA
- 61. Restoring What's Broken
- RESTORING WHAT'S BROKEN
- NATE
- 62. Three Words, None Of Them I Love You
- THREE WORDS, NONE OF THEM I LOVE YOU
- NORA
- 63. He Can’t, But I Will
- HE CAN’T, BUT I WILL
- NATE
- 64. A Wrinkle In Time
- A WRINKLE IN TIME
- NORA
- 65. A Flicker Of Hope
- A FLICKER OF HOPE
- NATE
- 66. Name
- NAME
- NORA
- 67. Did We Just Become Best Friends?
- DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS?
- NATE
- 68. Dancing In The Dark
- DANCING IN THE DARK
- NORA
- 69. No More Hiding
- NO MORE HIDING
- NATE
- 70. Mic Drops And Bombshells
- MIC DROPS AND BOMBSHELLS
- NORA
- 71. The Sins We Inherit
- THE SINS WE INHERIT
- NATE
- 72. Blink And Gone
- BLINK AND GONE
- NORA
- 73. God, Can You Hear Me?
- GOD, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
- NATE
- 74. Blur
- BLUR
- NORA
- 75. Dancing With The Devil
- DANCING WITH THE DEVIL
- NATE
- 76. Becoming Through Breaking
- BECOMING THROUGH BREAKING
- NORA
- 77. Broken Promiƨeƨ
- BROKEN PROMIƧEƧ
- NATE
- 78. Choices
- CHOICES
- NORA
- EPILOGUE
- NICK
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
It's almost laughable this dance we do.
Here I am, trying to catch glimpses of him like stolen moments, desperately hoping he'll see me the way I see him. Yet, the moment our eyes meet, I have to look away, scared he might see too much, might read the story written in my eyes like pages from a diary I never meant to share.
It all feels too real, too raw, like a nerve exposed to open air. The truth is, to Nate, I might just be a chapter in his life—a brief story from his past, pages he's already turned.
But to me?
Nate Sullivan has always been the whole damn book.
19. Cotton Candy And Daisy Bracelets
CHAPTER 19
COTTON CANDY AND DAISY BRACELETS
NATE
As Nora flicks through the CD tracks, her finger pauses on "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers, and the intro bursts through the speakers. The spark in her eyes—those carefree, exhilarating sparks I've missed—makes my chest tighten. She cranks the volume high, belting out lyrics slightly off-key but perfect in its imperfection. Eyes closed, head thrown back, wild hair catching streetlights like copper and gold, she's completely lost in the song.
It's pure, unfiltered Nora, raw and beautiful, and devastating in ways I can't let myself think about. I catch myself staring like a man dying of thirst, and she snaps her eyes open, suddenly self-conscious. She shifts to face me, knees up, her posture radiating a vulnerability that makes my hands itch to reach for her. When our eyes lock, something electric passes between us, heavy as thunder before a storm. She bites her lip, hesitating, and there's this honesty in her expression she rarely shows anymore, not since everything went to hell.
For a moment, I forget why I need to keep my distance, why I can't let myself have this—have her. Her voice fills the car, rough and perfect and painfully beautiful. I manage a laugh as she powers through the chorus, trying to shake off the intensity before I do something monumentally stupid like tell her the truth.
Just enjoy the moment, Nate, don't fuck this up.
The car stops at the carnival, and she's laughing that infectious laugh that makes my heart stumble. We step out into a wash of neon blues, pinks, and yellows, the air filled with games, shouts, and distant laughter—a perfect cover for the chaos in my head. I scan the crowd instinctively, searching for any sign of Farrah or anyone else who could shatter this fragile peace, who could remind Nora why she shouldn't trust me.
Nostalgia hits unexpectedly as we weave through the crowd. Suddenly I'm ten and she's seven, her tiny hand pulling me toward the carousel, her favorite. Her laughter was a clear bell back then, making everything else fade. Before I learned how to break things, before I became someone who could hurt her.