But I know better. I can't just act on this—on us—when everything is so tangled up in the past and the chaos I've created. It would be selfish. So instead of leaning in, I take a deep breath and pull back.

"It's getting dark. We should probably head back."

"Yeah. Right. Sure." She lets go, and the second she does, the distance feels like a physical ache.

I help her back to the boat, guiding her up the step ladder as she shivers, and I'm struck again by how much I want her. How much I need her. Every inch of me is screaming to pull her back into my arms, to let everything I'm holding back pour out into one kiss, one touch.

But I keep it together.

Barely.

I hand her some dry clothes—my favorite Aerosmith t-shirt and track pants. When she steps out of the cabin wearing just the t-shirt like an oversized dress, the sight nearly knocks the wind out of me. She's doing things to me that I won't be able to hide much longer.

"How do I look?" she teases, her cheeks flushed, but there's something in her eyes that tells me she's feeling the same pull I am.

Perfect.

Fucking perfect.

"It looks better on you, than it does me," I mutter, my voice betraying more than I want it to.

Her eyes linger on me for a moment, and I know she feels it, the charge between us. It's in the air, in the space between our bodies, crackling like electricity. I see it in the way her breath quickens, the way her fingers twitch like she doesn't know what to do with her hands. I can't take this any further. Not until I sort out the dumpster fire that is my life.

I drive her home, the tension between us still thick, still palpable. When I pull up to the house, she notices I don't get out of the car.

"You're not coming?"

"I need to do something. I'll be back in an hour," I say quietly. The look of disappointment on her face twists something in my chest. For a second, I think about telling her everything. But I can't—not yet.

"Just let Mom know to start dinner without me." I hate the way she's looking at me right now, like I've just fucked up the perfect afternoon with her. But I need to do this.

She watches me for a second, her eyes searching mine, then nods, stepping out of the car without another word.

As I drive away, I make a decision. I'm going to clean up my life and end the things that don't matter. Because the only thing that matters now is standing in the driveway watching me drive off.

36. Drowning In Truth

CHAPTER 36

DROWNING IN TRUTH

NORA