Consciousness returns in waves, each one bringing fresh agony. My skull feels like it's being split from the inside, brain matter pulsing against bone. The quiet of Nick's house is deafening after weeks of Monty's chaos. Coffee scents the air, a stark contrast to the toxic mix of sweat and smoke I've been drowning in. Sunlight assaults my eyes like shards of broken glass.

"Afternoon." Nick's voice cuts through the fog. He's a shadow in the doorway, tension coiled in his frame like a spring ready to snap.

I try to sit up, but gravity shifts and tilts. Bile rises in my throat as the room carousels around me. I reach for the bucket beside the sofa and empty whatever poison is left in my system. My face feels foreign under my palms, weeks of stubble rough against raw skin. Every cell in my body screams with the memory of what I've done to it.

"I don't—" The words scrape out like they're lined with barbed wire.

Nick inches closer, reality flickering like bad television reception.

"You got high out of your mind. We were trying to give you space over the past few weeks but then hadn't heard from you in days, until Jay called and said he knew where you were. Found you at Monty's, more dead than alive."

Memories surface: Monty's serpentine smile, the sweet rush of oblivion, voices dragging me back to a world I tried to escape.

"Fuck."

"Yeah, pretty much."

I heave myself upright, legs as steady as matchsticks in an earthquake.

I need to move. Need to get out. Need to⁠⁠—

"And where do you think you're heading?" Nick's question cuts like a knife.

My head pounds with each heartbeat. "I can't stay here."

"What's the plan, Nate? After you walk out that door?"

My hand finds the doorknob, cold metal grounding me in reality. But there is no plan. Just more chasing oblivion. Nick moves like he's approaching a wounded animal, slamming his palm against the wooden door.

"I can't let you leave without a plan."

"There's no saving me, Nick." The truth tastes like copper and defeat. "Just let it go."

"I made the mistake of letting someone walk out once. Never again."

Something snaps inside me.

"I'm not him. Not your brother. Not your responsibility."

The second the words slip out, regret floods my system. This guy has been the only steady support in my life, the only one who saw past my walls. He doesn't deserve my venom. Which is exactly why I wish he'd just let me go before I disappoint him again.

"No, you're not him." Nick's voice hardens. "And you're not Scott either." Scott's name hits like electricity, jolting through my drug-addled system. "But you're someone I care about. Let me help you figure this out, Nate."