I drop onto my back on her bed, dragging her down on top of me. She laughs but cuts off when I grab the back of her neck and bring her mouth to mine.

Fuck, I could do this for the rest of my life with her—having her melt into me and how she fills my chest. But there’s still the ache behind my ribs, the guilt I keep avoiding. Just until after the tour and the doc wraps.

I bite her lower lip and tuck an arm behind my head. She folds hers over my chest, setting her chin on them while my eyes search hers.

“You swear you’re okay?” I ask.

“Are you?” she counters. “I wasn’t the one those people nearly stampeded trying to get to.”

I lower my brows. “There were people out there? I never even noticed them.”

She fights the smile, poorly. “Right. Now who’s the liar?”

“Nah, baby, I only saw you.” I brush my thumb over her cheek. “Awake, asleep, eyes open, closed—all I ever see is you, Remi.”

When she fully smiles, I kiss her, then I really kiss her, knowing it’s only partially a lie.

If I let myself, I could forget anything else exists outside of her. Outside of us.

I did forget before—about the world. Except, forgetting about the world doesn’t mean it stops moving. It just leaves you completely oblivious to what’s going on right in front of you. Until all those things you were missing blindside you. Like they did me.

36

REMI

I’m getting the shot tonight.

Of Men and Wolves will walk to the stage and cross in front of my projector. The venue’s light gray curtains will work perfectly as a backdrop to cast a video of them performing. I have a lens to soften the edges, and I’ll use a lower frame rate so the shot looks more vintage, and I can add grain in post-production.

I’ve told myself all along this is a self-indulgent shot, one for me. But deep down, I’ve always imagined it as the opening of the documentary. Audio of the crowd chanting layered over top, then a soundbite from one of the band members. A line or two to set the tone straight out of the gate.

By the time I set up the projector, I feel a charge running under my skin. I adjust the angle and then go to arrange the curtain, wanting the backdrop smooth except for one fold near the stage. The heavy fabric takes both hands to slide, requiring me to tug it into place while backing up.