I nodded, and in Gene’s admission I realized the topic of his wife was one he had already discussed with Carolyn. They had probably shared everything, things about themselves that even I didn’t know, and I was oddly okay with that. Maybe it was partly due to the absinthe that was making everything tingle, or maybe because I had grown so close to Gene that I trusted him, knew he accepted me despite my many flaws. But whatever the reason, I was fine with it, and that was something new.

“I’m starting to see shit,” I said.

He laughed. “That happens sometimes. Switch to water for a while. Some people lose their minds if they drink too much of this, or too quickly.” He held the cigar between his teeth. “Do you know the moral of the story?”

“Maybe, but why don’t you tell me just to make sure.”

“Don’t be controlled by the past. All you have to do is let it go, as simple as that. Life’s way too short to go through being somebody you don’t want to be.”

I smiled. “Easy for you to say.”

“Yeah, real easy. Like I’ve said before, knowing’s half the battle. But take a chance, kiddo. Things might not turn out so badly. Fear will hold you prisoner for as long as you allow it to, but there’s hope for us all in the end, in some form or another. Even you. And you’ll never be happy if you don’t give it a shot anyway, so you might as well go for it.”

“I believe that, too,” I said, staring blankly at nothing at all. Then I downed the rest of my absinthe, set the glass on the table, and went about the routine of refilling it.

twenty-five

1

ON MONDAY MORNING, I arrived at work at the normal time. I stood at the clock looking for my time card. It was missing from its normal spot, and while I initially feared that I had misplaced it, I distinctly remembered clocking out on Friday. Nevertheless, I clocked in with a new card and walked to my desk.

“Hey there,” I said to Linda. “Was your time card missing today?”

“No. Why?”

“Because mine was. I wonder if somebody really did take it this time? Eh, shit happens. How was dinner with Gene last night?”

“Dinner was just fine. I heard you two had a raucous time on Saturday?”

I nodded. “I think we did. If only I could remember it all.”

“Been there myself a time or two,” Linda said.

I opened my desk drawer to grab my notepad to start making calls.

“Oh shit,” I said.

Linda turned. “What now?”

“My dummy card is missing, too.”

“No way?”

“Yes way. I keep it in my drawer and it’s not there.”

“You’re sure it was there Friday?”

“Positive.”

“You think they figured it out?”