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Back At Dawn Save as PDF
Chapters (39)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
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  39. Copyright

I turn around and my father is already sitting on his stool watching my mom. When their eyes meet he winks at her, and she smiles, a private moment passing between them. He’s as calm as though he’s just walked in waiting to be served, completely devoid of the effects I’ve come to expect from fights. Shaking hands. Heavy breathing. A numb face. My parents, no strangers to bar fights and brawls. I want to hug them both as tightly as I can, filled with so much pride that I don’t know what to do with it all.

thirteen

1

I WOKE AT SIX forty-five, had become accustomed to my work schedule and would wake early regardless of the time I went to bed. I made coffee and showered. I waited until eight thirty to call the office, a time I knew Cathy wouldn’t be there yet so that I could leave a message without scrutiny. Then I lay beside Carolyn and traced her eyebrows with my thumb.

“I love that you don’t have to work today,” she said in a sleepy voice.

“Me too.”

“What time is it?”

“A quarter till nine,” I said. “What time does Jimmy go to work?”

“Seven.”

“Well, then, we should probably get moving.”

“Does that mean I have to get out of bed?”

“Afraid so, darlin’.”

“Nooooo,” she said and buried her head beneath the duvet. I burrowed beneath it as well until I could see her eyes staring back at mine beneath our darkened tent. Her cheek had completely blackened in the night.

“Just think, we’ll go and do what we have to do and it’ll all be done and over with in two hours.” She nodded. “Are you sad?” I asked.

“No, of course not. I’m happy.”

“Good. I am, too.”

She showered, dressed, made offhand comments about how bad her eye looked and how there wasn’t enough makeup in the world to cover it. I reassured her that it wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought, which was a lie. I started getting nervous. Jimmy was supposed to be at work, but it was hard to imagine that holding true. It was too convenient. Would Carolyn’s prolonged absence only stoke the flame of anger? Well, I’d match his with my own if that’s what it came to.

We left at ten thirty. By the time we arrived, the hundred or so things that could go wrong were racing through my head. I wished I had grabbed a knife, though I figured it was probably better that I hadn’t. I wanted it done and over with, one of those punishments to endure for a little reward after. There’s always a price to pay. Always.