“He doesn’t love you,” I tell her. “And nothing you do can ever change that. He isn’t worthy of your love.” She clutches her side, and Bri grabs her, ready with a jar of minty paste in hand.

Now, I’m done.

“Why even do that? Give her a second chance?” someone mutters behind me.

“She had to see his heart for herself.” I turn to face them. “Mercy isn’t a weakness. Like stubbornness, you just have to know when to wield it.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

I FIND JHAMAL ON A raised bed in the shade of a jpango tree, the light in his eyes dim.

I crouch beside him and he winces, trying to turn to me.

“I never meant to hurt you, Jelani. Causing you pain is the worst…”

“N-no, don’t try to speak if it hurts.” I pull him into me. Confused, sad, angry. There’s so much blood, the soil is soaked.

“No, you must know. The truth of everything.” He holds on tight to me. “When I came for you in that lab the first time, thanks to a Patrol I had turned my way, I realized you were so angry with yourself for what had happened, how you failed. So I looked to magic. I did not know how to brew a potion, but I studied the books. Forgetting would be best. A gift in a sort of way. I had hoped it could give you the focus and confidence to rise to all the Ancestors see in you. But when I gave it to you, you became so weak. I-I didn’t know that would be a side effect. I read nothing about that in any book.” He groans.

“Please, if it hurts, don’t—”

“No, I need to say this.” He tightens his grip on my hand. “You still remembered parts of the battle. I didn’t know what to do. I’d made this whole mess trying to force what I thought should happen. Like I did with Bati, trying to get you on the throne.” A tear rolls down his cheek. “I spent every day putting you back together. I was determined to make up for what I’d done, and live out my love for you, even if it killed me.” He coughs, his hand slipping off his wound. It’s deep and I press my hand to it as if I can make it go away.

He wraps his hand around mine. “I could have prevented this in some way. Or should’ve… I…”

I smooth his tear away as mine begin to flow.

“I-I’m sorry, my Queen. I struggled to see you, all of you, right in front of me, and trust you fully. Instead, I tried to take things into my own hands. It is a lesson I learned with Kai, too.”

“But, Kai, I-I thought…”