“He was gone by the time I found I was with child, twins. He knew his dealings had cursed me and yet he never came back to check on me or them, see how we fared. Tavi and Tot hated him for it. They never forgave him for what he did to me. They were convinced he must be a monster, especially Totsi. But even still…” She writhes in pain. “Wh-when I think of him, all I see is a man I pitied, a man I once l-loved.” She shudders and I grimace, watching her stoke such toxic memories that are obviously mingled with some sort of love. “There is a part of me that I’ve tried to bury that still loves him. Love is stubborn like that. A stain determined to leave its mark.” She gestures at herself. “Some more visible than others.”

A breeze howls, cutting through the broken glass in the ceiling. “I-is there any way to undo it? Some spell or something?” I hold up my gilded arms and they glint in the moonlight. “I have a lot of power left in these. If I can help—”

She pushes my arms back into my lap, her eyes smiling. “Sweet Jelani. I should be getting some sleep soon. If we end up in the sunlight, I’ll need all my strength.” She chuckles, but it turns into a hacking cough. “There is one more thing I want to leave with you.” She hesitates.

I sit up. “Go on.”

“There is a way to retrieve the memories you’ve forgotten, but will dwelling on the past serve?”

“There’s a way? How?”

“You are not hearing me.”

“What if there’s some spell I tried during the fight or someone I trusted that I shouldn’t have or something… any hint of what can help me win this time, I wanna know that. So I don’t make that mistake again. I can’t afford any more missteps. I need to know!” My tone spikes. “Do you know?”

She sighs, rubbing a temple. “I do not. But there’s a potion remedy for remembering i-if you insist.”

“I can’t pay you.”

“You don’t have to.” She nods toward Bri, who is hooking a young man’s sling in an arm.

A potion?

“But, Jelani, don’t…”

“Thank you,” I say, rushing off, wondering if there’s a remembering potion, why hadn’t Bri mentioned that before?

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

BEFORE WE GO UP, I need a word with Bri,” I tell Julius, and he nods.

She’s working a bit of paste onto a stick, then smooths it on someone’s arm.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure.” She tops up the jar and I pull her out of earshot.

“How come you didn’t tell me there was a remembering potion?”

She blinks, several times. “Huh?”

“There’s a potion that can retrieve forgotten memories, right?”

She swallows. “Yeah.”