“I just don’t feel like I can trust anyone, Jue. Every time I turn around, someone’s lying or speaking half-truths.”

“What I tell you?”

“Trust myself. But you don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand? Tell me.”

I sigh. “This is some next-level shit. People’s lives are in my hands. Their future. Julius, I don’t know what I’m doing. A-and so I surround myself with smart people. People who know what they’re doing. Like Bri and Jhamal and Zora and you. And…”

“Stop.” He rests a finger on my lips. “We not doing that. You not gon’ tear yourself down like that. I remember when we first met, it was to study for math and shit, you remember?” He smirks.

“Yeah,” I say. He’s a wall at my back. I curl into him as he holds me.

“I was okay at Geometry. But Mr. Macey’s tests were hard as hell. You had seen how I did on homework and thought I knew what I was doing. But like foreal, Rue, I used to study my ass off between our study sessions so you wouldn’t leave my ass in the dust. I ain’t want you to stop meeting with me. I had to make them grades to impress you.”

“You so dumb. You had to make those grades because you needed those grades.” I laugh. “Not become some cute…”

“Fine-ass.”

I snort. “Okay, fine-ass…”

“Queen.”

I flash him a look. “We don’t use that word. Fine-ass girl is studying with you.”

“Look, I pulled an A in Geometry because of your help. You’re the smartest person I know.”

Flecks of hazel in his eyes glimmer in the moonlight. The night is calling to me, but right here, wrapped up with Julius under the stars, laughing ’bout stupid shit, is medicine to my soul. A sweet quiet I’ve been parched for. Like… like all along, right here with him is where I shoulda been anyway.

“You get me,” I say. “I-in a way… no one else does.”

He smiles and my insides tingle with nerves.

“And the way you look at me, like… like I’m the brightest star.”

“The only star.”

“Why, though?” I ask, because I need to know. If I know what he sees in me, maybe I’ll see it too. Because from where I’m standing, I’m outside my lane, trying to fix the monumental mess I’ve made of everything. And I’m terrified my next step will be the wrong move. What else could my people lose?

“You changed me, Rue.” Now it’s him who looks away, his fingers touching the corners of his eyes.

“Changed you how?”

“You always saw the best in me, you know. Even when I was hustling. You ain’t like it, and told me I could and should do other things, but you never looked at me different because of it.”