“I can,” I try to say, but nothing comes out.

He pulls up the edge of my shirt, exposing my bare shoulder; cool air grazes my skin. He moves a needle with a tail of thread back and forth, in and out of view.

“Just hold still a bit longer.” He tears something with his teeth. The ceiling thunders above us and he cuts a glance over his shoulder to the door, worry dug into his brow.

“Thank you,” I mutter. More words rush through my mind, but none makes it to my lips. Everything’s foggy. The door rattles on its hinges under someone’s fist, and I hear it like a thunderstorm in my head. Jhamal’s hands move faster. He pants and I want to grab him, tell him it’s going to be okay. Somehow. I don’t like seeing him like this. Scared. But every time I glimpse his face, I see bloody armor on the ground. My pulse spikes, my breath quickening. What have I done?!

I try to muster words; panic clenches my throat. The smell of the smoke, the wails and cries from Yiyo.

“Jelani? Can you hear me?”

“Hurry up!” a voice says from the corner.

“I’m hurrying,” Jhamal says. “She has to live if this is going to work.”

“They are coming.” The guard glances over his shoulder.

“Jhamal?” Finally, words come out. “I… I… Yiyo, the battle. The smoke. What have I done!?”

“Sssh! They will hear you.” He pulls at the straps holding me down.

“I… I… I sent hundreds of our people to their death. I…”

“You said you knew how to handle her,” the voice says again, and I turn for a glimpse of the man he’s talking to. Tall. Gray skin. A Patrol guard?

“I do! She trusts me. Just… I’m almost…”

I look from Jhamal to the guard and try to claw my way away from them both. “Wh-who…?”

Jhamal looks like he’s seen a ghost.

BANG! The door bursts off its hinges.

His eyes bulge, crippled with fear.

I blink, but the world disappears.

The hair is longer on Jhamal’s face than I’ve ever seen it. His cheeks sink in more than they once did. He switches on the lights in the lab. My eyes dart to the door, but there’s no guard with him this time.

“Wh-what are you… a-and that man w-with you… l-last time.” My tongue is heavy in my mouth, not having spoken in so long.

“Ssssh. They will hear you.” He takes me by the shoulders and pulls me into him; his chest is warm against my cheek. He undoes the straps on my arms and turns a vial in his hands, cutting a glance over his shoulder. “Take this.” He hands me a tiny glass with silver liquid. “I’m going to get you out of here this time.”

“How long have I been in here?”