There’s no hiding with him. He’s seen too much of me. He was there when Moms got sick that one time. He stayed at the house the whole time she was at the hospital. We were broken up then, but when he got word, he came over with takeout and no questions. He didn’t leave my couch until Moms came home. When Tasha ran away, it was me and him scouring the neighborhood to find her until the cops located her the next morning. And when Moms was shot, Julius sat outside on my stoop for three days. Ms. Leola said he refused to leave. She couldn’t tell him my daddy had taken me and I might not come back. So he just sat there.

Julius is family. He is East Row. He’s the homie, my friend… the first and only person to ever love me in that sort of way. He’s a part of me, and no matter how protected I try to keep him, he’s riding with me regardless of what I say.

He knows me better than anyone. I need to see him. Really see him. And let him back in.

Me: Hey, I lost service.

My finger hovers over the watch. How much do I say? I chew my lip. This is Jue. I pull the watch off my arm and let my thumbs just go.

Me: Everything here is so messed up.

Me: I got locked up. My people broke me out. But then they started fighting each other. Like really fighting, Jue. Can you imagine East and West Row down each other’s throat? Like, we family, you know?

Me: Their solution was to pick a leader and someone threw my name in the hat.

Me: Wild, right? That’s soooo not my lane, you feel me? So I just left. I really need to find this spell to reach our Ancestors. My people need their magic back, Jue. So we can fight off these assholes here that took everything from us.

I wait. It’s not like Julius to take a breath before texting me back.

Three dots show up on the screen then disappear. I laid it all out, now he’s quiet? This shit got a delete button? Three dots again.

“Ugh.” I get up and pace. I hate that he knows I’m squirming now. I hate that he knows… I don’t have shit figured out. I hate…

My wrist vibrates.

Julius: First off, do you get a crown? Because that shit would be dooope.

I snort. He always jokes.

Julius: Second, where yo people at, Rue? Like, who you got in your corner? Where’s your Row out there?

Me: Bri’s with me.

Hmmm.

Me: It’s some others. But it’s just not the same. I’m still getting to know everyone and everything. Reason 5189 I shouldn’t be a Queen.