Going along with this supposition, Anna tried some of the techniques that had worked on horses. She was careful to keep her voice low and steady when she spoke. Next, she brushed out Lolly’s long golden hair (remembering what one of her riding instructors had told her about brushing a horse: long strokes to keep them calm). After the brushing, the two girls looked up fun hairstyles, and, following a video from the Braid Queen of YouTube, Anna gave Lolly the Princess Leia double side bun look. The entire time Anna played with Lolly’s hair she reassured her that although she was understandably upset now, she was through the worst of it and things could only get better. Anna didn’t know if this was true, but right now she knew she had to believe it if they were to make it through this night together.

Clearly, a lot of what was driving Lolly’s misery was fear. Fear of having to make a definitive decision about her romantic life. Fear of making the wrong decision about it. Fear of loss if she broke up with Steven. Fear of hating herself if she didn’t break up with him. Fear of having no boyfriend and being single again in the wilds of Manhattan. Fear of looking for a new bf and not finding anyone better. And the big one, fear of dying unloved and all alone.

“What about the fear of loving the wrong guy?” Anna asked.

“You mean the wrong guy ’cause your brother sucks a bag of dicks?” Lolly asked in all seriousness.

“No,” Anna said. “I mean what if you spend your whole life loving the wrong guy?”

“Elaborate, please,” Lolly said, reaching for the pie box again.

“I mean, I know I love Alexander, but what if he’s the wrong guy? Like what if there was some other guy who I’m supposed to love that was … better? For me.” As soon as she said the words out loud, she regretted it. She needed to stop thinking about that moment when Alexia Vronsky turned to face her on the train. It was impossible that he could be as gorgeous as she remembered him.

“Impossible!” Lolly cried, echoing Anna’s secret thoughts. “Alexander is the best guy on the planet. He would never in a million billion years do to you what Steven did to me. Oh god, are you and Alexander having problems, too? Because if that’s the case, then I should give up now.” Lolly let out a melodramatic sigh. “I mean, if the world’s most perfect couple can’t make it work, then what hope is there for the rest of us?”