“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Kimmie wailed. “I swear I wasn’t trying to make you miserable, too. I’m sorry I’m such a bitch. I just feel so … so … wretched.” Kimmie rolled herself over onto her stomach and gave a half-hearted scream into a pillow.

Lolly rubbed her little sister’s back and told her it was all going to be okay. She knew Kimmie didn’t mean to make fun of Steven, and it was common for someone who was hurting to lash out and hurt the ones they were closest to. “Well, you’re lucky you still have time before you have to deal with stupid penis problems,” Lolly offered, trying to find something to lighten the mood. “Seriously, you should put off having sex as long as you possibly can. It’s just so complicated and confusing. I mean, like, don’t we have enough to worry about as girls without adding sex into the mix?”

Lolly felt Kimmie’s back grow stiff below her hands. She wasn’t exactly sure how she knew, but she did. Lolly was aghast and unable to hide her horror. “Oh god, Kimmie, you didn’t!”

Kimmie flipped over onto her back, still covering her face with the pillow and nodded her head up and down. It was true, her sister had guessed the terrible dark secret shame that was ruining her life. It wasn’t just the regret of dissing Dustin moments prior to being rejected herself. It was also the regret of losing her virginity to Vronsky the week before the party where he dissed her for Anna K. Kimmie would have done anything to take it all back if she could. Anything at all.

XIV

Lolly wished she had never gone into her sister’s room. She was totally shocked over Kimmie’s revelation and had no earthly idea what she was supposed to do or say now. This was when it sucked to be the older sister. Sure she had a few years on Kimmie, but she absolutely did not have more experience in the sex department. In fact, now that Lolly thought about it, it seemed that her little sister had lost her virginity before she did. This made her feel both worse and better in alternating waves, an emotional seesaw she wanted to get off of as soon as she possibly could.

How lame that your little sister lost her V-card before you did!

How sad for her that she lost her V-card to Count Vronsky of all people! Though Lolly knew of at least four other girls who were in the same boat.

Meanwhile, still hiding beneath her pillow, afraid to look her sister in the eye, Kimmie’s thoughts were also cycling through a Ferris wheel of anxiety.

She thinks I’m a slut.

She’s probably going to use this against me forever; I shouldn’t have told her.