Vronsky wanted to comfort the poor creature, but he couldn’t get close until after the doctor shot Frou Frou with the tranquilizer dart. Frou Frou’s shrieking stopped almost immediately, but his breathing remained loud and labored, and his eyes grew dull from the heavy sedative. Eventually Vronsky approached the giant beast and petted his muzzle while the vet administered the shot that would end his life. He hadn’t even known he was sobbing until Beatrice and Murf pulled him away from the dead animal and forced him to get checked out by the paramedics. They wanted to give Vronsky a shot for the pain from his most likely broken ribs, but he wouldn’t let them. Vronsky welcomed the pain as a punishment, because he was filled with the bitter taste of regret. Honestly, he had expected to win the whole damn thing, and his plan was to give Anna the silver cup that came with his victory. Murf had found him right before the race and told him Anna thought it was too dangerous, but if anything that only made him want to do it more. He was driven by the need to keep Anna looking at him with the same inestimable esteem she had of late. Not only was he in love with her, but he was also in love with the way her respect and admiration made him feel. She made him believe he could do anything, and since he had never been lacking in the confidence department, she now made him feel invincible. When he heard the sharp crack of the other horse’s hoof hitting the hurdle, he reacted immediately, pulling Frou Frou’s reins to the left. Vronsky asked himself over and over why he hadn’t just let Frou Frou’s experience guide the way instead of his own fear. If he had, would Frou Frou still be alive today?

His first thoughts when he hit the ground were of Anna. Whether she was watching, which he knew she was, and whether she would still love him now after witnessing the folly of his stubbornness. Only later, after the X-rays showed no internal bleeding, and his ribs were taped up by the ER doctor, did Murf and Beatrice tell him what had happened with Anna. How everyone there had seen her run out onto the field in a blind panic, desperate to know if he was okay. When he heard it, he smiled for the first time since, but Beatrice went on to tell him that Alexander and Eleanor had shown up minutes before the race and witnessed the whole spectacular fiasco. “The proverbial cat,” Beatrice said, “just managed to claw its way out of Anna’s bag. I’ve never seen the unflappable Greenwich OG so, well … flapped.”

Vronsky texted her through the WWF app over and over that night, but she never texted him back.

XVIII