She knocked and told Lolly she wanted to talk to her alone, adding that she thought they should do so while trying on her mom’s clothes. She never doubted Lolly would refuse her, and she was right, Lolly opened the door right away. Anna entered, offering Lolly her choice of Nespresso or a coconut water. Lolly reached out for the coconut water, twisted off the top, and chugged it down. Crying for hours over an undeserving boyfriend certainly made a girl thirsty. After Lolly calmed down, the girls dressed in never-before-worn Japanese silk robes they had excavated from deep within Anna’s mom’s closet. Anna told Lolly she could keep the kimono she was wearing (pale pink with cherry blossom trees in a repeating pattern) because she was positive her mom didn’t even remember she had it. Anna explained that her mother once told her that although her parents were fine with her dating Anna’s father during Yale Law, they were shocked when she announced that they were engaged. Though her parents were much too WASPy and polite to say so, she knew they weren’t thrilled she was marrying a Korean man. To make matters worse, her parents threw her an over-the-top lavish engagement party with an Asian theme to it. As if they were announcing to the world: “See, everyone! Our daughter Greer loves all things Asian. Even the men! Not our fault.”

Anna’s mother had been horrified by the party, of course, but she never told her parents how she felt. Anna’s father, meanwhile, who certainly had the most right to be upset about the party, took the whole thing in stride. He was used to racism in all its forms, but Anna’s mom was shocked by it. For the first few years of their married life, Anna’s mom kept receiving Asian-themed gifts, sushi plates, fancy chopsticks, and very expensive Japanese kimonos. Anna’s mom said it pissed her off at first, because she felt they were given as a slight, but eventually she got over it and realized that most people were stupid and had no idea that Asia was divided into many different countries, each with their own distinct histories and cultures. Now twenty-one years later, she and Anna’s father were still married, while most everyone else in their social circle was on their second or third divorce. Greer said she couldn’t believe it used to upset her so much when she was younger, meaning that their marriage had withstood the scrutiny and skepticism of others for years now, and thus was stronger for it. But that still didn’t mean she ever wore the kimonos.