Kimmie stood outside in the dark smoking a cigarette across the street from Dustin’s mom’s apartment, while she waited for Steven and Anna to leave. She had heard from Lolly that Steven and Anna went and sat shivah with Dustin and his family every day after school. Kimmie had wanted to be there, too, but she wanted to see Dustin alone more. So, she waited. She placed the small terra cotta–potted cactus on the ground next to her feet and stared down at the round prickly plant she had picked out. She had planned to buy flowers, but as she stood in the florist’s, none of the bright fragrant flowers seemed like the right gift to bring for the occasion. A cactus was probably too far in the other direction, but something about it spoke to her, and these days she was navigating her life by her gut instincts.

Finally, Kimmie saw Steven and Anna emerge, and she stepped into the shadows, not wanting to be seen. She was wearing her Natalia jacket, black jeans and boots, and a black beanie over her new short haircut. She had spent five hours at her mother’s hair stylist after school, and her hair was back to her normal blond shade. She’d insisted on retaining a touch of color and so had two strips of hair dyed pink on either side of her part. After her color was finished, she told Angela that she wanted to get a haircut as well. Something short, rebellious, and easy to care for. She showed the stylist a picture of Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink, but Angela had insisted on texting her mom before undertaking something so drastic. Kimmie’s mom texted back a hard pass on the Ringwald cut and sent over a few approved pictures to choose from. Kimmie pointed to a cute blonde with a shaggy above-the-shoulder cut.

“Who is that?” Kimmie asked. “She looks familiar, but I don’t know her name.”

“That’s America’s sweetheart,” Angela said. “Meg Ryan. When Harry Met Sally? God, I feel old right now.”

Kimmie didn’t like the sound of America’s sweetheart, but she did like how happy this Sally person looked. “Happy” was Kimmie’s new goal, because she had begun to realize that while Natalia pulled off the whole fuck-the-world attitude with edge and aplomb, on Kimmie it just looked as if she was making an I-stepped-in-dogshit face 24/7.