“Shots for everyone!” Benny shouts as he wraps his arms around Xavier’s waist.

I look for Jack, but he’s disappeared into the common room.

Something tells me I’ll forever be chasing Jack.

The group sticks close together as we walk off campus in the pitch-black darkness toward Chloe and Sofía’s house. Benny leads the way with the help of Google Maps, while the light from Xavier’s phone serves as a beacon to light our path.

Everyone is buzzed-on-the-verge-of-drunk except for me and Jack, who told me he doesn’t drink because he doesn’t like the taste. I’m too nervous I’ll say something to him I’ll regret, so it’s better to be sober. I shot off texts to Chloe and Sofía warning them that I might be bringing a few extra people, but they haven’t gotten back to me, and the closer we get, the more my stomach curdles.

I listen intently as Jack talks to Harry. “I went to a charter school in Vermont,” he says. “I want to be a writer, but I could also see myself going into teaching, like my brother. Maybe I’ll start my own charter school, or I don’t know. I could probably just work at my brother’s, but I don’t want to go into the family business. I have my own ambitions.”

I make a mental note to ask Jack more about his family. And his future. But there’s a pinch in my gut because I want his future to include me, and that seems like a wild thing to think. Right?

“Ambition is a good thing,” Harry says.

“Says the Laurene guy,” Jack quips.

“Gotta go big and be bold to make it, you know,” Harry says, not at all sounding the dad he dresses as. “Charter schools are great alternatives. All you need is one big donor, and I know there are plenty of rich assholes who feign philanthropic interest.”

“The one I went to relies on donations. It was the best experience I ever had.” Jack pauses, his eyes traveling to me. “So far, anyway.” He smiles, and it’s filled with hope. “They were always planning trips to Europe and Canada and stuff. We went to Iceland to see the northern lights during my senior year and learn how Icelanders utilize the land to harness green energy and about all the environmental protections in place there.”

As Jack dazzles with his knowledge of green energy, Rae leans in and whispers in my ear, “Love him.”

Same, girl.

He continues, “The school also offered electives like kayaking and white water rafting. I’d love to teach there and write books during the summer months. That’s the plan.” Jack is now beaming.

“You’re a writer?” Harry asks.

“Yes, I told you this!” Rae yells, slurring a bit. “Remember the poem he wrote Chase?”

My heart plummets to the floor.