She nods. “But the Knight feels so realistic. It’s refreshing. I agree with Chlo. I thought you were making a statement about your own body with him. It’s empowering, actually.”

I never thought of it like that. It definitely wasn’t something I was consciously thinking about, but when I did the original animation last year that went viral, I guess I was animating myself. Or, rather, a version of me that I wanted people to see. I never meant to make a statement, but it’s heartening to hear that Chloe and Sofía see a certain level of empowerment there.

It’s strange, actually, because I remember being younger and signing up for Instagram and searching out hashtags like body positivity or spending hours cruising Reddit forums praising cubs and chubs in the gay community. But for every twenty positive comments on a picture some brave soul posted, there was always one truly awful, viscerally disgusting one that stuck with me. Never mind the guys who were basically ripped bodybuilders complaining about hating their bodies. It was a bombardment of mixed messages telling me that even if I were Michelangelo’s David, I’d still hate myself, still wouldn’t be enough. Then I’d inevitably end up down a scrolling rabbit hole where I’d click over to some hot guy’s profile and find a whole manifesto decrying the body positivity movement as unhealthy, fat people as lazy, and it’d reinforce every horrible belief I held about my own body.

All I’ve ever wanted was to feel comfortable, whole, normal in my skin.

Maybe that’s why the Knight feels confident. I gave him what I wish I had.

I tell Chloe and Sofía this, and when I’m done, I feel breathless and want to cry.

“Can I tell you something?” Sofía asks. “I was drawn to you that first day of McPherson’s seminar because I saw something in your eyes and the way you spoke. It was earnest and real. And I remembered your viral short when I saw your flip. It shouldn’t be revolutionary to see a curvaceous, cute character as a hero in animation, but it felt like working with you would be. I had to be part of whatever you were creating.” She bites her lip. “I’ve struggled with my weight for years, too. Hated myself. Tried, like, every diet. It’s bad enough having to combat constant racism for being a brown Colombian, but add body image standards to that, and oof.”

“Same, just sub Black for Colombian,” Chloe says.