I don’t care how it looks to his family or to Callum.

I’m gone.

I leave my tray, completely untouched, full of food, on the table and walk out.

I think his father shouts something fake like, “Nice to meet you!” in a way that makes it clear he doesn’t give a shit about meeting me.

Rae, Benny, and Rhett find me outside in the cold.

“That was rough,” Benny says, cuddling into Rhett for warmth. I want to ask them when exactly they started cuddling together in public, or at all, but I don’t have the strength to hear about their potential happiness. I need everyone to be equally as miserable as I am right now. At least in my head.

I shrug.

“You should eat something,” Rae says, but I push her away.

“It’s over, huh?” I ask.

“You know I don’t want to lie to you,” Rae says, but something catches her attention, and her body tenses up. When she continues, her voice is exponentially louder. “Hopefully, he’ll be a decent person so that I don’t have to.” She looks at me and urges me to look behind me. I don’t have to turn to know Jack is there.

“Can I talk to him?” Jack asks. “Alone?”

Rae walks right up to him and chest-bumps him. Using her pointer and middle finger, she gestures from her eyes to his. “I’m watching you. From over there.”

Do I walk toward him?

Let him come to me?

Neither of us moves. It feels like there’s this delicate glass bubble separating us, and if either of us moves, it’ll shatter.

“Just say it,” I say.

“Chase—”

“Tell me, you fucking coward.” I’m breathing heavily. “Tell me you didn’t love me. Tell me that I’m just a fat kid you’re hooking up with. Tell me I meant nothing to you. Because if you say anything else, I’ll know you’re lying.”

“It’s not that simple, Chase.”

“So was I just an experiment? A way to get over whatever weird crush you have on your childhood best friend? A way to rebel against your shitty dad?”

“That’s not fair.” His voice deepens, his back straightens.

“You know what’s not fair? You telling me you love me. Because here am I, loving you back so much, I’m willing to do whatever you need me to do. I’ll wait forever with you, for you to be comfortable to come out to your parents. I’ll help you work through all that shit. I’ll stand by you. But I need you to stand by me, too. If you love me.” I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t.

“What do you want me to say?”