Brady is waiting for me in the school’s foyer. He’s almost unrecognizable without his headset. “Hey, man,” he says, his face serious. More serious than I have ever seen. Even his freckles look concerned.

“What’s going on?” I ask, my heart in my throat.

“Joshua told me to tell you,” he starts, but hesitates.

“Just say it,” I say, bracing myself for impact.

“Joshua said your time would be best spent connecting with your character.”

I step back. “He doesn’t want me at tech rehearsal?”

Brady nods, unable to say it. I feel my knees go weak. “Look,” he says, trying to level with me. “You’re in, what? Six scenes. You know the blocking, you know the lines, you don’t need to be here. Joshua gets extra Joshua. This is probably for the best.”

Brady has a good heart. And he’s right; I don’t need to be here. Although feeling like I’m missing out will be unbearable. What will everyone say about me? This was my only chance to bond with the cast, and now that’s gone. “So I just go home?” I ask, hoping Brady has some advice on how to spend my day.

“It’s Saturday, and we have tomorrow off. I suggest you get ripped and have some fun.”

“You’ve worked with Joshua before?”

“A couple times. The producers like me, I suppose.”

“Does he always do this to actors? What he’s doing to me?”

Brady raises his eyebrows. “Pushing you to be a better actor?” he asks in Joshua’s dismissive Cali accent. “He’s eccentric.” Brady air quotes the word eccentric. “He usually sets his sights on an actor and does variations of this mind game. But it’s always different. Always surprising.”

That brings me weird relief. I’m not alone in this torture, and others have survived. “Does it help the actors?”

Brady grins. “Have you read the reviews for his shows?”

I shake my head. My mouth tastes sour.

“One more thing,” Brady says, hesitating again.

“Just say it,” I say, all out of fucks to give.

“He said that if you can’t deliver the monologue at Monday’s rehearsal, then the understudy goes on opening night.”

My mouth drops open. “Is he serious?”

“Afraid so, and I’ve seen him do that before.”

“But the understudy is cisgender,” I say. “Wasn’t the point of hiring me to have a transgender person play the role?” I ask, trying to make my case.

“I don’t think he cares.” Brady checks his phone. “I need to get back. See you Monday?”