“But why not just have me onstage? I’m going to be here.”

“’Cause we haven’t put you in, son.” He checks his phone, done with this conversation. “Good talk. See you tomorrow?”

“Yes, sir,” I say.

“Don’t call me sir. It makes me feel like your teacher.”

I walk out of the theater and onto the street. I don’t think anyone sees me the whole way home; I’m the smallest thing in the world.

Twenty

Twenty

Thursday, October 24

8:20 P.M.

I’m having déjà vu. For the second time in a week, I’m in the elevator traveling up forty-five floors to Justin Sudds’s apartment. Well, his famous dad’s apartment. Elijah texted me during Conversion rehearsal and invited me over. I told him I was too tired, so he demanded it. I’m worried I’ll be ambushed. Maybe this is an acting intervention?

If anyone knew what the Conversion rehearsals were like, they truly might stage an intervention. Physically, it’s been an easy week. I go to my morning classes, take a nap during lunch, then sit and watch a rehearsal for six hours. Mentally, I’m exhausted from putting up with Joshua Downs and his mind games. But tomorrow is my put-in rehearsal. For better or worse, I’ll be onstage rehearsing. I don’t know if I’m ready. Joshua has filled me with doubt. I don’t trust myself to play the part—not completely.

Meanwhile at school, I’m playing the part of Famous August Greene. There’s no denying the energy shift. Before Grease, I was a nobody from nowhere. After Grease, people were interested. And now with Conversion, I have their attention. Even my friends are more excited about being around me. They talk to me differently. They listen to me differently. They think I’m great, and I think I’m crap.

So, I act how they want me to act. Everyone thinks I’m the big shot, so I play the big shot. Everyone thinks I’m onstage rehearsing with Broadway actors, so I let them think that. I don’t know if this is considered “making it” because I’m still completely faking it.

And tonight, they want to hang with the Famous August Greene. So, here I am. The elevator doors open, revealing the entire cast of Grease. They yell a loud, “Surprise!”

“What’s this?” I ask, pretending to be confused. “Is this a party for me?”

Elijah hops over to me. “We wanted to congratulate you for landing the role in Conversion, and that amazing article!”