“Today doesn’t feel as bad as the other day. Can it change day to day?”

She laughs. “It can change hourly. But know this: It’s okay to feel uncomfortable in your body. And it’s okay to be mad at your body sometimes. I know how that feels.”

“So maybe seeing a show called Naked Boys Singing could have thrown me?”

“It’s possible,” Juliet says.

“How do you deal with your gender dysphoria?” I ask.

“I talk to my therapist about my feelings. And I have a gender-affirming doctor to help align my body with my gender identity.”

“That must be nice,” I say. “The minute I stepped foot in New York, I become August and my life became busy. I haven’t had time to think about, process, or accept much of anything. August was a role I jumped into when I got here. I could have used a couple more rehearsals.”

Juliet looks at me, confused. “I thought you were out in Pennsylvania.”

My heart drops. I hate when I forget a lie. There’s no reason to lie to my friend who only wants to help. “My parents were not accepting of me being trans. They didn’t let me transition. I think they were going to send me to conversion therapy. They don’t know I’m August now. They still think I’m a girl.”

We stop outside Old John’s. “August, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

I watch as my friends go into the restaurant. “I didn’t know what you would think.”

“Oh, August,” Juliet says.

“August!” Elijah yells from the door. “Get your butt in here.”

“You coming?” I ask Juliet.

“No, I’m going home. Have fun, and I hope you really celebrate. You deserve it,” Juliet says, with a big smile.

“Fairy trans-sister. How about that?”

“I’ll take it,” she says.

Before I go in, I slip back into the Infamous August Greene.

Seventeen

Seventeen

Friday, October 18

5:25 P.M.

How can this be the last show? Three performances are not enough considering the amount of work we put into getting it up. And now it’s over, just like that? I’m ready to be in a Broadway show with eight performances a week and no closing date on the calendar. I’m dreading the show starting tonight, because then it will end and this will be over. Grease has been special. The cast bonding was the tightest and most real I’ve ever experienced. We’ll still be in the same school and same classes, but it won’t be the same. It never is.