“You were happy, Lina. We were happy. The stress with Katie…” He paused. “We had one bad year. Don’t go back now and redefine the last two and a half decades so you can find a way to stay angry with me.”

“I’m not.”

“I think that’s exactly what you’re doing. But it’s not going to work. You can’t delete all those years—all those memories.”

As she met his eyes she felt their connection pulsing between them, and she broke their gaze. “It’s late. You need to go home.”

Lina looked guiltily at the cell phone on her bedside stand. She’d turned it on long enough to send Nick a “Merry Christmas” text earlier in the day but knew he would be expecting a phone call, a phone call she couldn’t bring herself to make after spending the night in Phil’s bed. She linked her hands behind her neck and dropped her chin onto her chest, hating the guilt twisting in her stomach, but knowing it was too late to undo the betrayal she was sure Nick would feel.

It was almost 1:00 a.m. when Lina reached for her cell phone, knowing she wasn’t going to be able to quiet her mind enough to fall asleep until she spoke to him. The voice greeting her was deep and sleep filled.

“I’m sorry for waking you.”

“Everything okay?” Nick asked.

“I slept with him,” she whispered, and then unexpectedly began to cry. “I’m so sorry.”

“Lina, no. Don’t cry.”

“You’ve been so wonderful to me. I don’t know how I would have made it through the past two months without you, and I feel so guilty. I don’t know how it happened. I wasn’t planning it. I don’t know why I went to him.”

“Shh—don’t do this to yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true. Listen to me. I told you the morning after you spent the night at my house that you weren’t emotionally ready for another relationship, and that’s still true. If anyone should feel guilty it’s me. I’ve repeatedly exercised poor judgment with you. I shouldn’t be a factor in your decision making. If you want to sleep with your estranged husband, you shouldn’t have to worry about what I’m feeling or thinking.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh, Lina,” he sighed. “I’ll be fine. My eyes are wide open, remember?”

“Does this mean we can’t talk?”

“Only if that’s what you want it to mean.”

Chapter 44

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