“No, that’s not what was affecting it. It was awful and traumatic, but I’m over it. I’ve been over it for a very long time. But somehow in the process of getting over it, I decided I needed Phil. That’s what I need help with—getting over him—not something that happened over two decades ago.”

It was 9:30 p.m. when Lina turned into her driveway, an hour later than she’d planned to be out. She was surprised to see the SUV Phil was driving parked in the garage. Katie, lounging on the family room couch watching television, was the lone occupant of the lower level of the house.

“Where’s your father?”

“Upstairs with Logan.”

“Is everything okay?”

She shrugged, not looking away from the television. “Logan was crying.”

Chapter 38

38

Lina heard the low timbre of Phil’s voice as she reached the rec room outside Logan’s bedroom, and she hesitated at his door, debating whether to interrupt. “No,” Phil was saying, “you don’t have a right to judge me. You are fourteen years old. When you are forty-two and have lived a life mistake free, you can say whatever you’d like to me.”

“I’ll never do what you did,” Logan said.

“I hope that’s true.”

“It is,” he said firmly. “Are you going to move in with her, the woman who is pregnant?”

“No. I’m never going to live with her. I don’t love her. I love your mom.”

“Then why did you have sex with her?”

“I was weak and not thinking. I was wrong, Logan, but I can’t undo it. There’s no redo. Every action we take has consequences. I’m paying for what I did, and I may have lost your mother, but I’m not going to lose you. I’m your father and there is no undoing that. God decided that a long time ago.”

“You’re going to be that baby’s father.”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to see him? Like he’s your son?”

“He is going to be my son. Do you think God would want me to turn my back on him?”

“I don’t know,” Logan said so softly Lina had to step closer to the door to hear him. “I don’t want him to be your son.”

“Look at me,” Phil said. “Logan, look at me. Now, I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay? Are you listening?”

“Yes,” Logan croaked, and Lina covered her mouth when she realized he was crying.