He stared at her, not looking convinced. “I was going to check that the house is locked up and then set the alarm.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can—”

“No, I’ll do it,” he interrupted. “From now on, I’ll do it.”

“He seems to think he needs to be the man of the house,” Lina told Nick an hour later. “He even looks older. And he’s trying to comfort me when I’m supposed to be the one comforting him.”

“It’s all normal,” Nick assured her. “He’s just trying to find his footing.”

“I don’t want him to worry about me.”

“It’s been two days. He’s upset. You’re upset. If your house seemed normal right now, I’d be more concerned.”

She turned out her light, the darkness not scary with his voice in her ear. “Today is the first day since I met Phil that I haven’t heard his voice. Over twenty-four years.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Sad.”

“I imagine it would.”

“I don’t know why I brought him up. I don’t want to talk about him. Let’s talk about you. What did you do today?”

Chapter 33

33

Lina awoke with a start in her dark bedroom, unable to catch her breath. “Phil?” She felt the empty mattress beside her. “Phil?” She looked around the room and remembered. He was gone. Her lungs suddenly didn’t feel large enough to take in enough air. She grappled on the nightstand for her phone.

“Lina?” Phil’s deep voice came over the line. “Lina?”

“I can’t breathe,” she managed. “I’m suffocating.”

“You’re not suffocating. Listen to my breaths.” He breathed in deeply and then exhaled. “Do that for me. A big breath in, and now let it out.”

She followed his instructions, her eyes closed tightly, her hand clenching the phone as she breathed in and out, listening to the flow of encouraging words coming through the phone. It took a dozen or so breaths before she felt the air filling her lungs and her body beginning to relax.

“I tried to sleep without a pill,” she said when she could talk without effort. “I woke up and you weren’t here. I panicked.”

“It’s okay.” He sounded exhausted. “Are you okay now?”

She knew she should let him go back to sleep but was afraid to hang up the phone. “Do you mind staying on the phone with me for a minute? I’ll take a sleeping pill.” She was reaching for the bottle on her nightstand.

“Just go back to sleep, baby. I won’t hang up until you do.”