Josh must have seen the procession of wretched thoughts register on my face, because he looked crestfallen. “Hey, is everything okay, Sarah?” When had I developed this knack for making the men that I cared about feel like rubbish?

“Yes, yes, it’s … of course. It’s just so surprising, that’s all.” I wanted a time out from the conversation so I could catch my breath, but there was no way to do that without making him feel worse.

“But a good surprise, right?” My heart lurched at his earnestness, and I knew then that I needed to give him a chance—to see him, to see about us.

“It’s a wonderful surprise, Josh.”

“That’s a relief,” he replied with a shy smile. “’Cause, now you’re back, I was hoping to take you out for dinner.”

“You mean like a date?”

He laughed. “Yes, exactly like a date. Tonight, if you’re free, but I totally get it if you already have plans.” I was guessing he didn’t mean my plans to curl up on Lindsey’s couch and drink myself into oblivion while suffocating my cat with affection.

“Uh, no, no plans. I’m all yours.” I mentally slapped myself for the poor choice of words—all yours? What if he didn’t want me to be all his? Our conversation had more twists and turns than a pretzel.

Josh grinned, seeming to miss my faux pas. “Great. I’m staying at the Star Grand Residences in Darling Harbour. Do you know it?”

“Oh, yeah, I know where that is.”

“So, how far away are you?”

“Oh, um, not far. I’m staying at Lindsey’s—the one you just met—” He remembers what happened three minutes ago, Sarah. “It’s near the beach, so about eight kilometres—five miles.”

“Well, which would you rather? I can come to you, or you could come to me.”

I wasn’t ready to introduce Josh to Lindsey in person—or Nick—especially not Nick. I mean, who knew what he’d say to the “young one”? “I’ll come and meet you in the city.”

“That sounds great. Um …” He bit his lower lip. “You could stay here tonight if you wanted.” It wasn’t an unreasonable thing for him to say since we’d just shared a bed in Hawaii. But before we shared another bed, I knew I had to tell Josh I wanted a proper relationship. If he only wanted to meet up for sleepovers in hotel rooms, I had to end it.

I was staring down my second break-up in as many days—either the unluckiest woman in the world, or a total bad ass for drawing a line in my romantic sandbox.

Still, there was no way I was saying any of that on a call. Despite (some) evidence to the contrary, I was not a total cow and even I knew it was bad form to break up over the internet. There was also a sliver of a chance that Josh had changed his mind about relationships. I almost laughed aloud at that thought.

But underpinning all this toing and froing, was an intense need just to see him—badly. I loved him, remember? I wasn’t not going to see him when he was just down the road.