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Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

PAULINE   Who’s that?

GEORGE   That’s Angela.

RUFUS   No, it isn’t. It’s Hugo.

BETTY   Rubbish! It’s Percival. Surely, it’s Percival.

PAULINE   Who is it?
Loud knocking at the front door.

BETTY   Oh, no … don’t take any notice, George.
Knocking repeated.

GEORGE   Perhaps it’s the furniture. I’d better … Lights, Peter.
Peter switches the lights on; the slide remains on the screen. George goes to the door and opens it a chink. He looks through. There is a murmur of voices.
It looks official. They’re soldiers.

BETTY   Go and see. Tell them to go away.

GEORGE   Good God!
He goes out into the hall in alarm.

INT. HALL. NIGHT.

George crosses to the front door, where Harold is talking with an army officer.

GEORGE   What is it? What do you want?

CAPTAIN   Part of a routine search, sir. I’m afraid we shall have to disturb you. You have guests, I gather. How many?

GEORGE   Really, Captain, is this necessary?

CAPTAIN   Absolutely necessary. Sergeant, you’d better flush them out.
A burly Sergeant who has been standing in the doorway turns and shouts over his shoulder.

SERGEANT   Number. 2 Section. Number. 2 Section. At the double. Form search party.

INT. DRAWING ROOM. NIGHT.

BETTY   (peeking through the door) It’s not the furniture.
There is a sudden cry from Sue, who has been attempting to converse with Totty.

SUE   Mrs Nelson! Your aunt! I don’t think she’s well.
Stella, Pauline and Oscar investigate.

STELLA   Totty! Totty!

PAULINE   She’s … She’s not …

OSCAR   She’s dead.
Rufus goes to look.

RUFUS   My God! Do you think it’s …?

PAULINE   (kneeling by her) She was having such a good time.

OSCAR   Keep away. It may be …
Pauline withdraws hastily.

STELLA   We all kissed her.
Betty turns from the door and calls a warning.

BETTY   Look out! They’re coming!
The guests position themselves between the door and Totty, hiding her from anyone coming in.

OSCAR   Tablecloth!
Peter hastily strips the cloth off the table and throws it to Oscar. He drapes it over Totty. The Sergeant strides brusquely through the door.

SERGEANT   All right. Outside, everybody! Let’s have you in the hall. Look sharp.

INT. HALL. NIGHT.

The guests file out into the hall. The Captain crosses to stand on the staircase, where Glyn announced dinner. (He is played by the same actor.)

OFFICER   Sorry to break up your party, but this is an emergency. I take it you’re all familiar with the procedure. We’ve reason to believe that a carrier is in the area.

PAULINE   A carrier! Oh, Betty.