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Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

MR SUGDEN   Certainly not. If there is damage to be done call the police. That’s their job.

INT. ORTON AND HALLIWELL’S FLAT. DAY. 1967.

The door is immediately broken down. A Police Inspector in a raincoat and trilby, like Truscott in Loot, comes in.

EXT. NOEL ROAD. DAY. 1967.

We see Peggy arrive by car. She goes upstairs. As the Inspector and photographer arrive, Peggy comes downstairs and leaves.

INT. MORTUARY. DAY. 1967.

Peggy, Leonie and Douglas Orton. Peggy has one urn. An attendant comes in with another.

PEGGY   (voice-over) There were two ceremonies. Joe’s at Golders Green, everybody there. House full. Ken’s at Enfield, you couldn’t give tickets away.

LAHR   (voice-over) That’s sad.

PEGGY   (voice-over) Well, they finished up together at the end.

ATTENDANT   Strictly speaking, we would have preferred it if both the deceased had been cremated on the premises. Intermingling would then have been carried out by experienced personnel under controlled conditions.
He pushes the urn across to Peggy, plus another empty urn. Also a scoop. Leonie begins to scoop ashes from each urn into the third.

LEONIE   I think I’m putting in more of Joe than I am of Kenneth.

PEGGY   It’s a gesture, dear, not a recipe.

DOUGLAS   I hope nobody hears about this in Leicester.

EXT. MORTUARY GARDEN. DAY. 1967.

A long shot of them scattering the ashes.

INT. PEGGY RAMSAY’S OFFICE. DAY. THE PRESENT.

LAHR   If he hadn’t murdered Joe nobody would ever have known his name.

PEGGY   Ken was the first wife. They do all the work, the waiting, and then …

LAHR   First wives don’t beat their husbands’ heads in.

PEGGY   No. Though why not I can’t think.

LAHR   So what does that make you? The second wife?

PEGGY   Better than that, dear. The widow.
She switches off the tape recorder.
Have you ever seen the flat?
Lahr shakes his head.

INT. ORTON AND HALLIWELL’S FLAT. DAY. THE PRESENT.

Peggy, Lahr, Anthea and young couple.

PEGGY   These days I could make a living just talking about Joe.
Theatre conferences, gay groups, arts programmes. When those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories, knowing as their own dusk falls that they will only be remembered for remembering someone else.

YOUNG MAN   Is that all? Have you seen all you want?
He opens the door for them and they leave. The young man glances glumly at his wife before coming back into the room. He closes the door and goes out of shot. We hold on the closed door as the film ends.

102 Boulevard Haussmann

CAST AND CREDITS

102 Boulevard Haussmann was first transmitted on BBC2 on 17 February 1991. The cast was as follows: