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Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

GEORGE   There’s no need.

TOTTY   Cabby!
The cab driver comes in with the cases.
Put them down there, will you.
Totty fumbles in her purse to pay the driver. Betty nudges George, who gives him a note. The driver goes.

PAULINE   What is it?

STELLA   Yes, what is it?

TOTTY   Don’t you recognise it?

PETER   I know what it is.

BETTY   What?

STELLA   I know.

OSCAR   I know too.

BETTY   What is it?

OSCAR   Its the old epidiascope.

PAULINE   Is it? Is it, Totty?

TOTTY   Of course it is. I wanted you to have it.

PETER   And the slides too.
They crowd round excitedly.

PAULINE   Does it still work? Oh, do let’s see.

BETTY   But we’re halfway through our wedding. We can’t keep Mr Gregory waiting.

PAULINE   Oh, do let’s …

STELLA   He won’t mind … ask him, George.
Mr Gregory has appeared in the doorway, watching the proceedings. Mrs Brookstone is behind him.

GEORGE   Would you mind, Father?

MR GREGORY   Not at all. Carry on. If you don’t mind us watching.

GEORGE   Oh please. Peter, bring the machine. Come on, Totty.

BETTY   This way, Totty.
They all move off to the drawing room.

PAULINE   Oh, it’s so good to see you.

TOTTY   So this is your new house.
Dickie appears in the music-room doorway.

DICKIE   Is it all over?

INT. DRAWING ROOM. NIGHT.

George has set up the machine with beside it the box of slides. Peter is just finishing the erection of the screen.

GEORGE   Where shall we start?

BETTY   Start with the holidays.

PETER   Yes, start at Walberswick.

PAULINE   No, the war.

DICKIE   Or Dar es Salaam.
George is holding up the slides to the light.

GEORGE   That doesn’t belong.

RUFUS   Family. Start with family.

GEORGE   They’re all jumbled up.

TOTTY   I haven’t looked at them since Arthur died. He was the expert. He was the one who knew.

GEORGE   Lights, Peter.
Peter switches off the lights.

GEORGE   I hope this won’t seem too parochial, Father.

MR GREGORY   No. We’re looking forward to it.
The lights are switched off.
There follows a selection of slides on different themes … family scenes, pets, weddings, funerals, young people now dead. There are scenes from colonial life and holidays at home and abroad.
A slide of a young woman raking grass.

TOTTY   Who’s that?

GEORGE   That’s you, Totty.

TOTTY   Is that me? Poor me. If only I’d known.

GEORGE   Known what?

TOTTY   I don’t know. Just known.
A slide of two children by a pool.

RUFUS   That child is now in the Foreign Office.

OSCAR   She’s dead.
A slide of a young man.

STELLA   That’s Percival. Before he went to India.
A slide of a cadet.

DICKIE   That boy trod on a land-mine in Borneo.
A slide of a bicycle.

GEORGE   My old Hercules.
A slide of an aeroplane.

DICKIE   That’s the Comet at Dar es Salaam.
Another slide.