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Contents (27)
  1. A Midsummer Tights Dream
  2. Dedication
  3. Contents
  4. Back on the showbiz express
  5. Winter of Love
  6. I’m not an ice cream, I’m a human being!
  7. There’s no people like show people
  8. Eat the boat!
  9. Human glue
  10. Calf love
  11. Don’t forget your Bottom
  12. My corkers are on the move
  13. He’s a rusty heathen crow
  14. The ladder of showbiz
  15. Good-bye to a Tree Sister
  16. The hamster slippers of life
  17. A naturally cracking kisser
  18. Tunneling for his life
  19. Return of Cain the Bad
  20. Warming up my Bottom
  21. The fall of Dother Hall
  22. A Midsummer Tights Dream
  23. Tallulah’s glossary
  24. Other Works
  25. Copyright
  26. Back Ads
  27. About the Publisher

She doesn’t need to tell me that. And of course she doesn’t know about my cracking snogging techniques either. And by the way, never will.

At home time I was wrapping my scarf around me, when Lavinia pounced.

“Begorrah, begosh, bejesus, Tallulah Casey. To be sure, to be sure, to be sure. How the devil are you?”

I mumbled, “Fine, thank you, just going home.”

She put her arm around me. “Now when are we going to get together with that nice Alex?”

I said, “Oh, I see. Oh, he’s been back but he’s gone again.”

She perked up and flicked her hair about.

“Did he … did you … ask him about coming and helping us?”

I said, “Well, I didn’t get a chance really because he was with his girlfriend, Candice.”

Lavinia said, “His girlfriend?”

I smiled. “Yep. Candice.”

She said, “Did you know he had a girlfriend?”

I said, “No, but Ruby says he met her at college and they have only just started going out.”

Why was I telling her this?

She looked thoughtful.

“Oh, I see. Hmmmm. See you later, Tallulah. Probably a bit too busy to do any lunchtime performances this term.”

And she went off.

So every cloud does have a silver lining. But it had made me long for Mr. Darcy again.

It was freezing on the way home from Dother Hall and I could hardly move my face. Ruby came scampering to meet me as I passed the post office. She said, “Brr, come and have hot choccy with me.”

I said, shivering, “Is your dad in?”

Ruby said, “Nah, he’s at band rehearsal. Come on.”

I couldn’t find out any more from Ruby about Candice. When I said casually, “So how is Alex doing at college? Is he, does he, see Candice a lot? I suppose they go mushrooming quite a lot.”

She rolled her eyes at me and said, “Don’t even think about it.”

So we sipped our choccy and she showed me some of her art from school.

I said, “What’s this one?”

And she said, “That’s Mrs. Bottomly stalking Cain on the moors.”

I said, “Does anyone know where he is?”

Ruby said, “Nah.”

I’d noticed it getting quite windy, and the trees rustling and creaking for the last hour, but then it suddenly got much worse. Doors slammed, and the wind moaned, like a ghostie down the chimney in Ruby’s bedroom. Oooohhh, it was a bit creepy.

I said to Ruby, “I’d better get home before the pub blows down. I wouldn’t like to be Cain out there in this.”

Ruby said, “They’re tough, those lads. Since their mam left. Well, you’ve got to be, haven’t you. Get on with it, I mean.”

I was going to ask what had happened to Ruby’s mum, but she started playing with Matilda and I didn’t like to.

I said good-bye and went outside. Jeepers creepers, it was wild. I had to hold on to my hat. As I passed the beginning of the path that led up the back road to the moors, I couldn’t help thinking about Cain again.