Flossie went on.

“Yes sirree bob, it will do that young man no damn harm to be kept waitin’. With his cotton-pickin’ insolence.”

I couldn’t wait to see Seth hanging around waiting.

Flossie went on normally.

“I’ll go out about quarter past seven.”

What???

Monty was in his tracky bums and wearing a headband, I don’t know why, as he hasn’t really got any hair to keep out of his eyes.

“Now then, girls, today we are looking at the emotion of being ‘drunk with love.’ The Bard often speaks of this. For instance, when Puck flings the love potion in his victim’s eyes. So, let us start with the eyes. Let us do drunken eyes. Let your eyes go.”

Flossie looked at me cross-eyed. Everyone else was looking like something from Night of the Vampire Bats.

Monty said, “Right, now tongues. Let your tongues loll in your mouths and try to speak. Let your tongue be like a big fat slug in your mouth.”

He was lolling his tongue out and saying, “HHEththhtgoooorll. Hecthhhooo.”

Jo came up to me with her eyes crossed and her tongue lolling out and said, “Givvtth a thnooogggggg.”

Monty wasn’t finished, because then we were on to knees.

At last, knees! Something I could shine at.

“Girls, feel like all the muscles in your knees have become useless—let them go so you have mushy knee complex. Try walking around with mushy knees.”

I was excellent at mushy knees, in fact, I was the best.

As we left, Monty shouted after us, “Girls, do not drive or operate heavy machinery after doing these exercises.”

We had a “Lost and Found Orchestra” lesson in the hall last thing, with Blaise and Bob.

Bob was on keyboards “improvising” around a tune. I think it was “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” but I can’t be sure.

Blaise shouted, “Girls, find something to make a noise with. A bit of pipe or a comb or a milk bottle. Or use your own body parts!”

Some girls got stuff from the kitchen or garden, kettles and bottles and even a saw.

Vaisey found a creaky door and started harmonizing with it. Sort of “creak-creak, la la lah lah lah!!!” in time to Bob’s “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.”

Flossie blew her cheeks out and hit them to make popping noises. It was really good, but she looked like a mad goldfish.

Jo was banging her head with a tin tray so I went and sat next to her and started a sort of counter-rhythm. She banged her head and I did bang-bang-bang on the wooden panels on the front of the stage. But I got a bit carried away and put my foot through the wooden paneling.

Bob had to get under the stage and take my shoe off so I could get my leg out. There’s a foot-shaped hole in the paneling now.

Blaise said, “We’ll have to find a way to keep those legs under control. They have a life of their own, Tallulah.”