Yusuf was the first to come back to life, popping to my side to show me to a room. He tried to smile a little, which I appreciated as I tried to shake the cold in my gut that had seeped down through my palms when I’d touched the machine.

Redness crept up my neck and burned the tips of my ears. I’m embarrassed to say that what stung the most, while Yusuf led me down more hallways, was how really embarrassed I was. For a minute I thought I was special. I know that’s whiny and obnoxious, and thankfully I got over it once I was eventually alone in my room like fuck that. I’d always avoided the delusions of being an undiscovered auteur or whatever, because I knew I was just Some Guy and was mostly happy with what I’d had. I should’ve died a long time ago, but I didn’t, meaning the rest of my life was a bonus even if it wasn’t perfect.

But when I boarded a plane for what I thought was my Hollywood break that then turned into maybe I have a connection to this machine from another universe, I let myself believe I was important. And now that was gone.

6

CUT

Looking back, I know that Kaori was putting on a show with her pen gag. In case any of her staff wondered if I was going to roll into the Compound with the smarts of Figueiredo, she had to remind them who took top billing.

After I’d parachuted out of me and Narek’s toxic relationship, Genesis invited me to share the stage with her one night. Of course, she’d known how to pull me out of my funk.

Soon after we’d first met, she’d fairy-godmothered me out of a mess of benders and into life, and had pushed me to actually finish my first doc. I’d helped her, too, especially when one of the early lawsuits for nationwide synth personhood failed. When the first synths had rolled out, the Supreme Court had been quick to pass the Defense of Human Sanctity Act that spouted some garbage about “only a human born of flesh in the form of our Creator is afforded legal protections under the Constitution” and blahblah. Massachusetts was the only state in the nation to grant synths legal personhood and a challenge to the Sanctity Act had been rising up the courts.

Why did she want to be considered a legal person so much, anyway? We’re awful. And of course I’d known it was more about legal protection and human rights, but getting her to laugh about how humans were literally the absolute worst had been my secret salve with her. I’d helped her create her drag character to skewer and celebrate everything she’d loved so much about people.