Afterwards, I told him what happened. Or, the version that me and Kaori are sticking to in whatever weird truce we’ve drawn between us. I might’ve taken away the Envisioner from her, but I’m giving her what she really wants in exchange for her silence. For this relative reality that we built between us. The story of how I used the All-Eye’s positioning system—the same thing that allowed Figueiredo to pinpoint where in thousands of universes to drop his machines—to open a gateway and send the asteroid sailing harmlessly off into a distant corner of the solar system. Instead of the truth of how I burned Logan and Joel’s Earth to ash to save ours.

I’m not proud of the lies but I know they’ll get easier, now that I left Hayes the Monster in the other universe, and I’m already breathing into the right beats that Before Hayes knew to hit.

I know Yusuf told me a million years ago that secrets are poison. I’m more than willing to let this poison flow through my blood for the rest of my life so long as that means being able to sit and look at the stars with him even for one more night.

“I thought you were dead,” Yusuf says after a while.

“I’m sorry. I had to throw Figueiredo and Kaori off the trail. I didn’t know they’d track you down and she’d tell you.”

“But how could you do that to me? I thought I’d never see you again.”

His glinting eyes flick to mine and I bury my face into the side of his neck.

“I was kind of making stuff up as I went along. I had to take out Figueiredo and then jump back into his Compound as fast as I could while the place was still in chaos.”

“Still—”

“At the start of this, Yusuf, when I saw you die in whatever future the box wanted to show me. I knew I would’ve… would’ve…”

“Done anything to get me back.”

“Yeah.”

“Me too. But…”

“So we’re even. We both died for each other and came back. Kinda.”

He waits, working the muscles at the sides of his jaw.

“What did you do to Figueiredo?”

“I stranded him on our beach without an Envisioner.”

A tiny spark lights up his eyes. “I would’ve done worse. And Kaori? How’d she not kill you for taking away her toy?”

Here, I hesitate—pulling away from him and wincing.

“I told her I’d cut a doc and give her the hero edit.”

“Wait, what?”

“What’s the neatest ending? I used my freaky connection to the machine and end up in a lab somewhere with people trying to copy it, or genius Dr. Nakamori blasted the asteroid out of the sky and saved us all? Honestly, it’s the safest bet for us, too.”