“Thank you very much. What else?”

“Well, they asked us, if we could do this all over, would we do it differently, and we both said yes. And they asked if we wanted another chance, and of course we both said yes again.”

“And that’s it?”

“Yep. But I have to pay for it.”

“You certainly should.”

“That, plus we both promised to go to these teenage church groups to talk to them about the dangers of having unprotected sex. Once a week for the next nine months.”

“Good. Do you still plan on dating this girl?”

“I think we’re going to chill for a little while.”

“And you’re sure about this?”

“Ma, I know I messed up big-time. I was major scared, and then, when you made me deal with this by myself, it became crystal-clear just how much was at stake. So—don’t even worry about this anymore. And thank you.” He turns to leave.

“Wait, I have something to tell you, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, you know how testy and mean I’ve been lately?”

“Sort of.”

“Anyway, Dingus, let me just be honest. A little over a year ago I had some dental work done and then . . . I know you know I had my breasts done, don’t you?”

“I kinda noticed, yeah.”

“Anyway, I was prescribed some pain medication that at first I took for pain, but later on, whenever I’d get a little stressed about something, I’d take one, and then two, because they took the edge off and I thought they helped me think clearer. But, well, fast-forward the film and here I am.”

“You mean you got strung out on the medicine?”

This is a hard one for me to answer, but I say, “Yes.”

“What’s the name of it?”

“Vicodin.”

“I heard of that. I think I have some.”

“Had.”

“Word.”

The next thing I know, tears are rolling down my face, and I don’t know how this happened, because I didn’t mean to cry, and I don’t even know why I’m crying. Yes I do. I’m embarrassed, because I’ve finally admitted one of my many weaknesses to my son, and it feels weird.

“It’s all right, Ma. You always have so much stuff on your plate, it’s understandable how it might get a little tough to deal with sometimes. You don’t have to feel bad. Is there anything I can do to help?”

I just shake my head as he puts his arms around me like I’m his child. “I guess I picked the wrong time to lay my craziness on you. I’m sorry, Ma.”

“Dingus, it could’ve been next week or next year—this has nothing to do with you. It’s me, and how I handle things. I should know better.”

“Come on, Ma. Dag. So you made a mistake. It just proves that you’re human like the rest of us. Thank the Lord.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I had my doubts.”

I slap him softly. “Anyway, I’m going to try to go to this place in Arizona where I can do some soul-searching and maybe cleanse my body and mind some, too.”