The first thing I would do is buy myself a house that don’t need no repairs, and walk around barefoot, ’cause the carpet would be just that thick. Hell, a condo would do the trick, as long as I had a patch of dirt big enough to plant some collards, a few ears of corn, some cherry tomatoes, and hot peppers to pickle for the winter. And I’d like to know what it feel like to drive a brand-new anything. I know I’m dreaming, but deep down inside, when you know your life is at least 80 percent over, you ain’t got nothing left to live for but dreams.

More than anything, if something was to happen to me, I pray that each one of my kids find happiness. I want ’em to feel good. Live good. Do what’s right. I just hope I live long enough to see Lewis get hisself together and start acting like the man I know he is. Lord knows I’d love to see Paris marry somebody worthy of her and I’d pay cash money to be there when my grandson throw a touchdown pass on nationwide TV. And Charlotte. I hope she stop getting so mad with me for every little thing and realize that she ain’t no stepchild of mine, that I love her just as much as the other kids. I want the day to come when Janelle stand on her own two feet and get rid of that rapist she married. And if I don’t get my old husband back, hell, I’ll settle for a new one. One thing I do know about men and kids is that they always come back. They may be a day late and a dollar short, but they always come back.

Cold Keys

Viola makes me sick. Sometimes I honestly thank she make herself have these attacks. She’ll do anything to get some attention, but this woman is aging me by the minute. Under all these layers of black dye, my head is full of gray hair, and I won’t be fifty-seven till come September. My daddy didn’t go all the way gray till he was almost seventy, and he spent his whole life in the fields. I ain’t had it half that bad, and look at me: a middle-age old man.

I can’t believe it’s still raining so hard. I’m getting soaked. Doggone it! Who can remember where they parked in such a big parking lot? If my Lincoln wasn’t red it’d be a whole lot easier, but there’s thousands of red cars in Vegas, and most of ’em seem to be at this hospital today. I know I must look like a fool walking around in circles out here, if anybody’s watching. I thank that’s her window, right up there. Wait. There it is! Four rows over and two back. But my keys ain’t in my back pocket. Not in the side ones either. Wait a minute. Retrace your steps, Cecil. Damnit! They at the foot of Viola’s bed.