And she does. But we don’t find anything else. Nothing. We are somewhat disappointed, but mostly relieved at what we have found: our history, our lives together as a family; and after looking at our mother and father, I think we both realize where we came from and who we are.

“Let’s get out of here and get some air,” Janelle says.

When I try to get up, my legs are asleep and starting to feel like electricity is shooting through them. I kick and shake them until I’m able to stand. As I’m about to turn off the light, Mama’s clothes are just hanging there. I pull out a dress. It’s a size fourteen and still has the price tag on it: $59.99 from Marshall’s, marked down again to $25.00. She always loved a bargain, but when was the last time Mama wore a fourteen? I smile as I walk out into the bedroom and feel the fresh evening air coming through her window. I sit down on the bed. I’m crying again. I see Dingus standing in the doorway.

“Can I do anything, Ma?”

I just shake my head.

“You sure?”

I nod, and then it occurs to me that I’m not the only one feeling her loss. Not by a long shot. “How about you, Dingus? How’re you holding up?”

“I’m all right,” he says. “I just can’t believe I’m in Granny’s house and she’s not here. I wanted her to watch me play college ball. She wanted to watch me. I really wanted her to watch me.” He comes over and sits next to me, puts his head next to mine, and I hug him until I hear Daddy’s voice in the living room.

I was right: Daddy has aged. His gray roots are inching in, and his eyes are red and glassy, with deep circles underneath. He looks like he’s hurting everywhere, like he’s lost. We don’t say anything. Not even Janelle and Shanice when they come from the back bedroom. We just take each other’s hands and squeeze until we lose our grip.

Sock-It-To-Me Cake

They almost had to carry me outta that church. I ain’t never liked going to funerals, ’cause I guess I take loss too personal. I do everything in my power to avoid ’em, but this time I couldn’t. I stared at that big mahogany casket for the longest time, trying to make myself not believe that my mama was inside it. But it didn’t work. And all them gigantic floral arrangements started closing in on me and made me nauseous. For a while I just sat there till I felt my body jerking and I couldn’t stop it and I guess I musta slid off that bench and was headed up there to save Mama from eternity when somebody grabbed me and sat me back down. I screamed and hollered so long that my head went cold, until it felt like I was the only one sitting in the front row during the whole eulogy.