Silence for a long time. Words didn’t matter, just vibrations in the air, molecules moving to transmit meaning from a brain to a mouth to the air to an ear to another brain.

‘Come downstairs,’ Indy said at last. ‘For Mel.’

Hannah looked up and saw sadness and worry in Indy’s eyes, radiating from her like heat from an open furnace.

She wiped her cheeks and nodded, walked past Indy with a touch of her forearm, then went downstairs, legs unsteady.

At the bottom she almost walked into Xander coming out of the chapel.

‘Oh, hey,’ he said, shuffling his feet.

‘Hi.’

‘I was hoping I’d see you,’ Xander said. He was wearing a white shirt tucked into jeans. ‘I wanted to say sorry. You were just trying to help and I was a dick.’

Hannah looked past him into the packed room, saw the end of the coffin where Mel’s feet would be resting on the soft lining.323

‘I was a dick too,’ Hannah said. ‘We both just miss her.’

Xander nodded. He was the grieving boyfriend, it was easy to forget that. Everyone is the main character in their own story, has their own life to lead, full of sorrow and joy, boredom and excitement, life and death.

‘OK,’ he said, and headed to the toilet.

Hannah went into the chapel, pulling at her skirt to straighten it. She stood watching Yu and Bolin hunched over in the front row. Her throat tightened, her stomach was a stone. Vic saw her and came over, took her in his arms and held on, powerful grip, strong cologne, his body against hers.

‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘For everything.’

She pulled away and shook her head, looked around the room again. There was no escaping this, she was part of it, linked to everyone here, everyone on the planet, drowning in sorrow, sinking in sadness, looking for a reason to keep going.

324

63

DOROTHY

She rang the doorbell and waited. Looked up Craigentinny Avenue to where there were now roadworks. Guys in hi-vis and hardhats watching a digger tear up the tarmac, dust and noise in the air, rumbles under her feet. A few cars were stopped at the temporary lights. A disruption to ordinary life, just a little thing to throw you off balance, that’s all it took.

Rebecca opened her door and straightened up. Her hair was a mess and she wore a loose T-shirt and joggers.

‘Can I come in?’ Dorothy said. She had to raise her voice over the sound of the digger up the road. Some dust caught in her throat and she swallowed.

Rebecca folded her arms across her chest. ‘No.’

‘Please, it’s important.’

Rebecca looked her up and down and considered it. Eventually she unfolded her arms and turned inside.

‘Two minutes.’