“You weren’t the only one,” Ross says. “I’ve thought so many different things through the years. It’s good to find someone who understands.”

“What happened to your mom?” I ask.

I already know. I’ve memorized every fact about every victim. But I need to hear him tell it, to make sure he is who he says he is.

“I was eighteen,” Ross says, his voice cracking slightly. “Mom asked me to go buy some milk but I refused to. I was an asshole back then. So she went out instead. She went out to make sure I had milk for my cereal the next morning. She never came back.”

I know what happened.

Sharon Custis—Ross’s mom—was on her way back when she was strangled, the number 5 carved into her belly, the milk her son refused to buy lying next to her in the street.

“I was such a shit,” Ross says. “Why didn’t I just say yes?”

If he had, she might still be here. But it’s not Ross’s fault. He didn’t kill anyone. He made a decision he can never take back, and that moment claws at him whenever he closes his eyes.

I didn’t send my mom into that alley, but I think about it every day. I wonder if I was the reason she took a shortcut, if she was so desperate to see me that she tried to shave five minutes off her journey.

Ross has his head down, and I catch Hanna looking at me. She raises her eyebrows, and I quickly nod, letting her know everything is okay.

If I was a different person, I would reach out and touch Ross’s arm or say words designed to help. But I know it’s useless, the things people do because they have to do something, the words they say because they can’t stand the silence.

For people like me and Ross, silence is better than bullshit. So I let him reminisce or regret, until he looks up, shakes his head, and says, “I’ll do anything to help you, Jessica. We can’t let him get away with this.”

“That’s good,” I reply, “because there is something I’d like you to do.”

He stares at me, and when I see his eyes tear up, I almost stop. But I don’t, because I can’t.

“Will you find the others for me?” I ask. “The families of the other victims…will you ask them to help?”

Chapter 32

On Sunday, Danny calls and asks if we’re all set for tomorrow.

“Anything happen I should know about?” he asks.

He knows I met Ross because he has access to my Facebook, so there’s no point lying to him.

“Did you film it?” he asks. When I say no, he says, “Jess, you have to start taking this seriously.”