“Cybelle,” she hisses with perfect pronunciation. “Come outside. Didn’t you hear your own name?” She walks away in the middle of her last sentence. I follow her out to the lobby, anyway, where Manager gestures to a small boy hiding behind his mother.

“Cybelle-sensei,” he sings. “This is Sotaro.”

From between his mother’s legs Sotaro sticks out his tongue. I try to not look as I bow to her. Manager continues to repeat my name in the same three-syllable tune as he talks to the mother in slow, hesitant English.

“Cybelle-sensei is the Native English Teacher at our school. She is from Canada. Her English is very good. The students love to enjoy English with Cybelle-sensei.”

I nod after each sentence with a nice big smile. When Manager switches to natural-speed Japanese I continue to nod and smile at all the right pauses. Sotaro watches me from his mother’s crotch in fascination.

“Sotaro-kun,” Manager sings, “say hello to Cybelle-sensei, please!”

The moment is gone. His mother pulls Sotaro out from behind her and right away he pretends to pass out on the floor. His mouth hangs open so wide soon there’s a pool of saliva soaking the carpet. Manager laughs along with Lieko, now behind him.

“Aw, he is sleepy,” she croons.

We all stand there laughing awkwardly until Sotaro and his mother leave. Manager turns to me. “Thank you, Cybelle-sensei!” He says it without smiling. He then shakes his head, like he just changed his mind about something, and turns to Yoshino. He tells her in Japanese that she did well to recruit Sotaro, and that she should sum up the details of his trial lesson for me in English. Then he says something about my interview at two o’clock and turns away.

Wait, what?

“Hang on,” I call after him, forgetting my contractual obligation to pretend I don’t understand Japanese. “I have my Moms’ trial class at two.”

“Ah, sorry, no. Maybe, no Moms’ today. Lieko has Zozo II class today but many students have flu. So, we have to cancel. So, maybe, no mothers will come today. But, good news is, we have interview.”

Ugh. Another “riveting” teacher interview. Good news, my ass. “Okay. What’s the teacher’s name?”

“It’s … nandakke … one moment.”

Manager takes off to riffle through papers behind the reception desk. Meanwhile, Lieko eyes me with her predatory gaze. “Her name is Misaki Wada,” she says, her voice stiff. “She studied English in university and lived in Australia for one month. I read her file from Head Office and memorized all of it. Manager wants me to interview her in Japanese, so I must know everything about her. Maybe I should do both interviews, Manager,” Lieko raises her voice another octave and shows all her teeth. “To save time?”

“Fuzaken ja nee yo!” Manager scoffs. “Native speaker ga hitsuyou da!”