“Whether you like it or not, you have to get used to him having a girlfriend, Bee,” she’d said. “I’m sorry, honey, but the truth is he doesn’t want to hang out with his kid stepsister all the time. It’s normal, I’m afraid.” As if all she’d said hadn’t hurt enough, she added, “He’s a handsome boy. And Celine’s lovely. She deserves to be with someone like Ash.”

With a small smile she’d muttered something about having another headache and needing to lie down, but I’d stopped paying attention. The words kid stepsister made me want to run for the bathroom and throw up as my world, and the future I’d imagined us having, imploded and collapsed around me. Mom was right, Ash saw me as a child, and worse, his sister. In the past months I’d tried everything to change his perception. I’d taken down all my babyish posters and replaced them with grown-up ones we’d chosen together. Brad had helped me repaint my room, covering the sickly pastel pink with an eggshell white, and making an emerald green feature wall behind my bed. I’d sewn new curtains, put the remaining few stuffed animals I’d kept in a box in my closet and stacked my shelves with books I knew Ash liked. But I’d kept my silver star lights and watched them twinkle when I lay there in the darkness, thinking about Ash. Although he’d commented on how grown-up my room appeared, he couldn’t yet see me as his equal, and so I’d persevered.

My appearance was next. I’d styled my hair to match Celine’s, had it cut a similar length, found the same lip gloss at the pharmacy and used my pocket money to buy it, but still, despite Brad passing a comment about how Celine and I could almost be sisters—yeah, only if I was the ugly one—Ash didn’t notice. Even when I stole one of the love letters she’d written Ash, and practiced until my writing looked exactly like hers, he still couldn’t see what was in front of him.

I needed him to understand I could be so much more than he thought, if only he’d let me. If only he’d give us a chance. I knew him, understood him. What he liked, what he hated, his favorite food, music and movies. There was nobody on this earth who could make him as happy as I could, but still, he only had eyes for Celine, and every time I saw them together, it stoked the colossal fire of envy burning inside me.