I wanted to ask him if he knew a guy called Jason Whitmarsh, or if he’d ever gambled for money, but I couldn’t, not tonight. I shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I used some of it to come here. I’ll pay you back as soon as I can, I promise.”

“I’d like you to keep the money,” he said. “All of it.”

“What? No way—”

“Yes, way. It’s the least I can do for messing up your life.”

“You don’t have to pay me, it’s—” I waved a hand “—weird.”

He grunted and closed his eyes, taking a while before opening them again. “Keep the cash, okay? I don’t want it back.” He rubbed his eyes, pushed himself off the bed and stood up, swaying gently. “I’m wrecked. What was I saying about feeling alive? I should head back.”

“You’re not walking home now, are you? You can barely stand.”

He stared down at me, blinked hard three times. “I’ll get a cab or something.”

“Stay here.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them or had time to reconsider. I reached for his hand and pulled him back onto the bed, and as he stretched out again, I rested my head on his shoulder. I wanted to press my lips against his, feel his hands around my waist as I let mine slip underneath his shirt. His muscles would tense beneath my touch, as they always did when I ran my fingers over his flat stomach, and when I put my hand on his belt, he’d let out a low sigh. Working hard to stop myself from doing something he might regret, I raised my head, observing his soft lips, the intensity of his eyes. Part of me—all of me—wanted to make love to him, once, twice, three times in the hope the act would unlock the memories of us.

The voice of reason in the back of my mind chided me, insisting again if, or when, something happened between us, it had to be for the right reasons, but still, I couldn’t bear for him to leave. “Stay,” I whispered, putting my head down as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. “Let’s stay here for the night.”

“It’s a deal,” he murmured, and within minutes, both of us were fast asleep.

24

MAYA

All was silent in Ash’s room when I got up early the next morning. I forfeited having breakfast because I was still too angry with him to eat, and made a thermos of coffee as quietly as possible before heading to the garage to work.