“Are you kidding me?” I said, my voice increasing in both volume and intensity. “You should’ve made her stay. Told her to wait until I got back.” I felt my fists clench into tight balls, the muscles in my neck straining. It was at that point I noticed Maya’s wide eyes, the way she’d taken a step back, as if she was scared of me. And who could blame her? What kind of a person acted this way, yelling and screaming at someone who’d done nothing but help? I thought back to what Maya had said, that my increasingly irate behavior was because of the situation, and my amnesia, and hoped she was right. I could barely keep my frustrations at a simmer and not only did it make me hate myself right then, but also I felt ashamed.

“Can you please tell me what you two talked about?” I said gently.

Maya relayed their conversation, ending with, “Surely you can see how this has to be really hard for her?”

“Yes, I can,” I said, my anger dissipating some more.

“Anyway,” Maya continued, “you’ll talk to her tomorrow. It’ll be fine, I’m sure.”

“Maybe I should go and see her now.”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. You don’t know how she’ll react. You could end up pushing her away. Look, let’s try to relax and talk things through some more. I need a drink. Want a beer?”

Given the circumstances, I would’ve happily downed an entire keg. As Maya got our drinks I headed to the bathroom, where I reminded myself to get a grip. Lily needed some more time to think things through. Understandable and no big deal. Except it was a big deal because I wanted to see her.

Back in the living room Maya handed me a bottle of beer, some unfiltered stuff with licorice or something. I’d examined it earlier and put it straight back in the fridge in favor of a soda. When she saw my raised eyebrow she said, “You love this brand. It’s local stuff, you can only get it around here.”

I shrugged and took a sip. It tasted bitter and smelled worse than dog crap, so when Maya turned her back I poured most of it into the only houseplant we had, hoping I wouldn’t kill it.

After dinner we watched some television, but I could feel Maya observing me, so I feigned heavy yawning and headed upstairs only to toss and turn in bed as my nerves built.