So was I, but right now, mixing up the times of her shifts or incorrectly remembering my father’s favorite sport, which according to Maya he’d pretended to like only for my benefit, both paled in comparison. “You should have told me Lily called,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even. “I can’t believe I was living in Maryland, had a girlfriend but said my name was Jack. Why did I lie? What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything, Ash.”

I wanted to ask how she could possibly know what I had or hadn’t done in the time since I’d been away from Newdale, and even before. Maybe I had done something to drive Celine away. Perhaps I’d hurt Kate somehow, too. If I had, I wouldn’t have told Maya, would I? There was no way she’d have stuck by me if I’d harmed someone. I’d disappeared from town and moved south where I’d given Lily—my new girlfriend, apparently—a false name. Nobody did that unless they were trying to escape from something, not unless they had something to hide. I sat in silence, wrestling with it all, forcing my anger back into a box and shoving it down my throat. “Have you told me everything, Maya?” I said, turning to her. “Did you leave anything out because you’re trying to protect me?”

“No.”

“Because if you are—”

“I’m not.”

“Are you sure? I need you to level with me, because I can’t go on this way.”

She reached for my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, her touch feeling like a red-hot poker. “Maybe we can ask Dr. Adler to give you something to help you cope with all this stress.”

“That’s a hard no,” I said, shrugging her off. “I’m not taking anything. My head’s already fuzzy enough, you said so yourself. Some days I feel like I’m going backward.”

We drove on in silence until we arrived at Dr. Adler’s, where he ushered us into the same consultation room. When he asked how I was doing, I snapped, “I’m sure I’ve had better days, but I can’t remember them.” I knew I was being a complete dick but really didn’t care. I wanted him to take the bait so I had an excuse to be an even bigger one.

He sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, revealing a pair of Scooby-Doo socks. When he followed my gaze, he smiled. “Christmas gift from my wife. She does it every year without fail. I have quite the cartoon collection. But back to you, Ash. Your frustration is normal.”

“Sure, I get that,” I said, “but it doesn’t help much, does it?”

“Ash,” Maya said, “we’re not the enemy.”