I wondered what he’d hoped to explain. Perhaps he would have told her ‘it meant nothing’. But he would have lied. The truth doesn’t come easily to deceivers.

James ordered a second bottle of wine, clocking up an obscene bar bill. At least money worries weren’t part of his equation.

‘She threw my half-packed bag out the window like some wronged wife in an American movie.’ A hint of a smile tried to lighten the mood. ‘While turning up at your flat wasn’t the cleverest of decisions, it seemed the most obvious place to be.’

He laid his hand on top of mine. ‘Perhaps fate played a part,’ he said, pushing back a strand of hair from my forehead. ‘At least I gave you the chance to escape.’

‘What happened after I left? I vaguely remember you cracking the skylight pole over Oliver’s head.’

‘I only managed to skim the edge of his skull before he lunged at me. I went to hospital with broken ribs. The police cautioned him but let him off with a warning. Rape wasn’t mentioned.’

James looked down, sheepishly, guilty of something. Perhaps he would have felt better if he’d killed his assailant. ‘You had left, disappeared, and when I realised you weren’t coming back, it seemed easier to try to move on. I had my children to consider.’

James blew his nose and stared into the bottom of his glass.

‘I understand. Don’t worry. It’s water under the bridge now,’ I said. I was lying again. The pain would never go away. I withdrew my hand. ‘They say what goes round, comes around. Oliver will pay. One day.’

We wandered out into the damp foggy afternoon air. James tried to take my hand.

‘I’m with someone else but if I’d known you were coming back, I would have waited,’ he said.

The sodden handkerchief which he stuffed back into his pocket told its own story.

My smile held nothing but pity. I felt sorry for James; that was all. As he made a weak pass in my direction, I stepped back.

‘I’m sorry, James. But it’s been good to see you, catch up. Bye and take care.’

I walked away, paused by the patisserie. I turned round, lifted my right hand and waved my fingers back at him. He was staring after me.

I thought that was the last I would see of James.

44

Arthur

I continued my surveillance, as my new girlfriend came and went. There was a thrill in watching her and, as Christmas loomed large, I felt confident there was no other man in her life.