I was tired of it. I was tired of having to starve myself just to see a lower number, I was tired of not having energy, I was tired of being hungry, I was tired of hurting myself when I purged. It did me no good. It was time for me to reclaim my body.

“It’s time to say goodbye,” I said softly.

I knew that it wouldn’t solve my eating disorder. There was still so much to do, so much to unlearn, so many bad habits to break. But it started with this. I put the scale in my backpack and left.

Mel honked her horn when she saw me.

“Thought you might have gotten cold feet,” she said.

“I thought I would, too,” I said, getting in.

“I’m glad that you didn’t.”

“Then we better break this thing before I do.” I was half serious.

Mel put her foot on the gas and we drove off. I wasn’t quite sure where we were going, or how we were going to break it. I didn’t ask too many questions. She drove back to her place, and put her car in park.

“Well, do we have a plan to break this thing?” I asked.

“I didn’t really think that far ahead. I have a car, and an eager foot to put on the gas.” Mel grinned.

“I like your spirit.” I smiled back.

“Do the honours of putting it in position?”

I took the scale out of my backpack and walked about forty feet away. I could hear Mel revving the car’s engine.

This was it. It all started with stepping on a scale, and it was going to end with us breaking one.

I was afraid to let go. I wouldn’t be able to check my weight as much as I had been. What if I gained weight? I couldn’t go back to being as big as I was. I might have beaten up Lewis, but that dude left me with a lot of scars, and that was what led me to the scale in the first place. The scale kept me lost in a sea of uncertainty, so I had to remind myself that it was my body and I had to let myself feel free. It was time to let go.

“This is my body,” I whispered to the scale I held in front of me.

“Are you ready!?” I heard Mel yell.

I looked at the scale one last time. I was really doing it. My heart began racing, and I knew that it was the catalyst. I knew that my body would be mine again. I knew it was time for change and I knew where to start. I dropped the scale to the ground and moved back as Mel hit the gas with the intention of turning my scale into nothing more than a bad memory. I watched as my heart raced and prepared myself to let go of my bad habits. It was time.