I walked down to the cafeteria and saw Donny sitting by himself. I pulled up and he said, “Wow, dude. Look at you dropping that weight. How much do you weigh now?”

“One hundred and eighty-five,” I replied.

“Five pounds less than me. You could probably fit into this shirt off my back.”

That was what I had wanted before this all began. But at that moment, I just wanted to go home and lie down. I was tired and hungry, but had a stomach ache.

“What did you bring for lunch?” Donny asked.

“I brought a peanut butter sandwich. I already ate it, though.” I had no lunch.

“Those are always good,” Donny said as he took a bite out of his burger. The smell filled my stomach and caused it to rumble. I sat there and watched him eat the entire thing. God, I wished I could have been that careless — eating a burger and not worrying about my weight afterward. Life wasn’t fair, but we can’t always change that.

“You’ve been really quiet lately, dude,” Donny pointed out. “Not the normal, shy, quiet Adrian. You’ve been deadly quiet, like someone took something from you. Like you lost something. Maybe it’s all that weight. You lost part of yourself.” Donny chuckled at his joke.

I wished he wasn’t right about that. I had lost a part of myself. Something wasn’t right beneath the sweater and the long sleeves that I wore. I covered up because I didn’t want anyone to see what was beneath.

“You’re allowed to say something, y’know?” Donny cut into my thoughts.

I forced a laugh to break the silence.

“Anyways, dude,” he continued. “We should hang out soon. When you’re not so busy with kickboxing.”

Donny didn’t know that I’d quit. He had no idea what I was doing to myself. I was afraid if he found out, he would leave me behind like Mel did. I missed her. I still saw her around school at times, but we passed each other like we were strangers. That was the hardest part. One second you love someone, then the next they’re a disappearing act. Maybe that was what made love a magic trick. And I was feeling like the person who got sawed in half.

“I’m going to go upstairs and study for my math test,” I told Donny. I honestly just wanted to get away from the smell of food. It filled my nostrils, making my stomach rumble.

“See you around, AC.” Donny waved.

As I got up to leave, a guy stopped in front of me. I’d seen him around. He was in Mel’s class. His name was Desmond. He stood in front of me, looked me up and down, and then just straight-up asked.

“Hey dude, is it true that you got liposuction?”

That question wasn’t okay. No, I didn’t get liposuction. I worked out for months with an amazing girl, fell off that wagon, and began purging/starving myself. But I couldn’t say that. I was frozen. A girl who overheard the conversation looked over and asked, “Yeah. I heard you got liposuction, too. Can I see the scar?”