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Chapters (39)
  1. Cover
  2. WORST CASE SCENARIO
  3. Dedication
  4. Contents
  5. WORST CASE SCENARIO
  6. THE WIFE KILLER
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. THE NED
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. THE PAEDOPHILE
  30. 22
  31. 23
  32. 24
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. Acknowledgements
  39. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Derek suggested I record a memory. This is my memory of the first time.

Your upper lip is gathered so tightly it’s turned an inhuman shade of green. The cup in your hand is filled with hot tea and has World’s Best Mum written on it. The light in the bathroom is still not working, and there are many other things I’ve not done, or done but badly, since seeing you last, and you’re telling me all of them, over and over, louder and louder, and my non-reaction, you tell me later, is why you throw the mug at me, hot tea and all, and I’m just standing there, like an ice man. I don’t stab you with the largest, jagged piece of cup, which now reads only World’s Best. I don’t yell or beg or dial 999 or run to the neighbours for help. What I do, I take one breath, then another, then I say I am taking time out. I do the sign for it, I’m taking time out, and you shout at me until I shut the door and breathe, and breathe, and walk alone. Well, not alone now because of you. The shame you have just started to poison me with: we take our first walk, she and I.

5

‘Inhuman shade of green’, the wanker. His key was under a pot on the landing. Liam unlocked the front door, and seemed as surprised as Mary that Derek McLaverty was already inside. The living area looked like Cuck HQ, with books and flyers and t-shirts piled on the floor. Derek and his silver MacBook had made a desk of the dining table. He didn’t look Mary in the eye once, and she realised he hadn’t since they’d met. He’d called The Culture Show and the interview could be done in time if it was over the phone. Did Liam need some water? Anything? He’d be on in five. Mary was as impressed as she was powerless. She scolded herself for the former as she gave Liam his next appointment (Tuesday between 9.00 and 10.00 a.m. Mary was at her best between 9.00 and 10.00 on Tuesdays) and took the number of the mobile phone Derek had bought for him.

In her car, she started the engine and shook her head to reaffirm that she would not listen to Radio Scotland, no way. She put the blinker on. Then she put the radio on:

‘…whose debut novel, Cuck: Letters to My Dead Wife, is causing something of a stir among feminist groups and men’s rights activists. Fresh from B hall in Lowfield, released just this morning, we have Dr Liam Macdowall. Welcome, welcome to the world. Before at least one of our other guests lays into you, let’s start nice: what’s it like, the world, after ten years in prison?’