I knew I had to go to Kasimarra and tell the people there that their Firelord was dead. It was a goal, and I needed one right now; but it was a sorrowful goal.

I, who had wanted only to bring good news to the Quelled, would give instead to the whole world the most terrible news of all. No Firelord, no divining power, no firestones, no fire, no …

A memory glowed like a spark on the edges of my mind, flared into a tiny flame, and ignited. I thought of conversations with Teraj, of fantasies that had bemused us, blown our world away. I saw a dream I’d had, of hands tearing down a curtain and combining on one altar two separate fires. I saw those same hands holding fire, fire for all the world, all people. My hands. My fire.

A vision huge, stupendous, began to form. I shook my head, denying it. They’d never allow it. They’d kill me first. Or would they? Could they, if I were the only soul on earth with divining power? If they rejected me, if they killed me, they’d lose their only life-link to the warm. They had to accept me. They had no choice.

I stopped walking and leaned against the prayer-stones for support, overcome by the thoughts. They crashed down on me, ringing like a song, like stones of a tremendous mosaic all falling into place, like threads of a tapestry moving into a vast design. Everything fell into place, all my childhood dreams, my divining power, my hopes for the Quelled, the Firelord’s death, my life. It was all there, mapped out like a road in front of me. All I needed was courage. Courage to do it alone, without the Firelord. Courage to be the Firelord.

I stood up I pulled the divining robe higher on my shoulders – feeling the richness of the fur, the warmth, the weight of it – and I started on the road again, to Kasimarra.

18 High Road to Kasimarra

18

High Road to Kasimarra

THE NEXT TWO NIGHTS I stayed in the Firelord’s caves, both plentifully supplied. A thousand times I blessed Amasai for all his care. In one of the caves there were even clean clothes, including a handmaid’s dress and underdress, and boots. There were clothes for the Firelord, too, that sharpened afresh my sorrow.

From the last cave I took a long-bladed knife, flints, and a wooden torch to light. Then I went back up on the road again, with the Firelord’s gown rolled under my arm. My hood I pulled well down over my head, hiding my brand.