“See that? Are you watching, boy?” My jaw aches with how tightly he grips the sides of my head. It’s dark, save for the TV flickering blue slashes of light over us. My dad’s breath is hot and pungent on my neck as he stands over me, holding me in place.

I shouldn’t be watching this.

I don’t want to watch this.

I don’t like this.

“Disgusting. Unnatural—”

I close my eyes. Try to block out his voice, as well as the grunts and wet slaps of flesh coming from the TV.

I’m not here, I’m not here, I’m not here—

Saliva hits my shoulder as he spits angrily, “Open your fucking eyes—”

“Hey!”

I pop my eyes open.

When did I close them?

Will’s now crouched in front of me, putting us at eye level. He has my cheeks in his palms as he scans my face. He frowns. “Where’d you go just now?”

Nowhere good.

Nowhere important.

I scowl and try to move out of his hold.

“Uh-uh,” he says softly. “None of that.”

I swallow hard and stare at the freckle on his collarbone, silently berating myself for fucking all of this up. Just once, I wanted to let go—and I could have. I could have. Because I’m the one who summoned my dad this time. I’m the one who let the memories in.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

It’s like I want to sabotage this or something.

I don’t, I don’t, I swear I don’t.

“Waylon, look at me.”

I sniff, and after a long moment of trying to rein in my emotions, I do as he says.

He searches my eyes, expression solidifying. “We’re stopping.”

I go rigid.

What? Nonononono—

He goes to stand up and walk away. I don’t think; I just shoot out my hand and grab his. Stopping him. “Don’t.”

He stills and looks down at our joined hands with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Don’t stop.”

I don’t miss how his cock’s gone soft, which makes me realize I’m no longer sporting an erection either.

Fuck. How long was I spaced out for?

“Will,” I all but beg, tugging on his hand like I’m a child. It’s pathetic, but I feel too unhinged to care. Bordering on panic. He can’t stop, not now. Because I fear if I don’t go through with...with whatever this is now, I never will.

I might never be this brave and strong again. Even if it feels like I’m seconds away from crumbling, I know I can do this. I want this.

Will drops to his knees suddenly, framed between my legs. His hands find my thighs and squeeze as he looks up at me.